Favorite films

  • Fargo
  • The Florida Project
  • Big Night
  • Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World

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  • Predators

    ★★

  • Predator 2

    ★★½

  • Predator

    ★★★★

  • Saint Maud

    ★★

Recent reviews

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  • Predators

    Predators

    ★★

    Why is it the Predator movies always focus on Predators who are really, really bad at their hobby? I mean, for a race of badass otherworldly apex killing machines, we only seem to see the ones who are prone to catastrophic fuck-ups; it’s like we’ve got an entire franchise based on a bunch of intergalactic Bill Dances.

  • Predator 2

    Predator 2

    ★★½

    Trades in razor-sharp Eighties action for C-grade early Nineties schlock, which, to be honest, isn’t all that terrible of a deal. Sure, Stephen Hopkins tosses aside all of McTiernan’s acuity and narrative proficiency, but the B-movie gaudiness he brings to the Predator universe does have a modicum of dumb charm, playing to the cheap seats in a way McTiernan never would. (The inclusion of Morton Downey, Jr. in the cast is a monumental coup of trashiness, as if Hopkins thought…

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  • Geostorm

    Geostorm

    ★½

    Back in 1994 I had a huge crush on a cheerleader at my high school named Ginger Jordan. The odds were decidedly not in my favor; I was a pudgy, oily-skinned, Zucker-Abrahams-Zucker-obsessed sophomore, while Ginger was a senior, one of the most popular students at the school, and only a few months away from heading off to college at UGA. Ginger tolerated my presence in a court-jester-to-the-queen sort of way—we shared the same drama class, during which I would use…

  • Harmontown

    Harmontown

    ★½

    I'm guessing it was around half an hour into Neil Berkeley's Harmontown that I realized I wasn't a very big fan of Dan Harmon. Yeah, I like the spur-of-the-moment looseness of his Harmontown podcast, but I'm more entertained by his show "comptroller" Jeff Davis and his dungeonmaster Spencer Crittenden (part of the show is an ongoing game of Dungeons & Dragons) than by Harmon himself. He comes off as alternately clever and whiny, with the latter overtaking the former as the…