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  • Mascots

    Mascots

    ★★½

    AKA Christopher Guest's Low-Hanging Fruit

    Buried in the ever-expanding depths of Netflix original content seems to be the proper resting place for Mascots. Not that it's a bad film, nor is it a misunderstood classic. No, Mascots is brutally average, just witty enough to merit a watch, too scattershot and unpolished to provoke much thought. I got nothin'.

    Fred Willard's attempt to describe Mt. Rushmore is 2021 America in a nutshell.

    I think I'm still in love with Parker Posey.

    Godspeed You! Black Emperor's new album is pretty great. Listen to that instead of watching this.

  • Godzilla vs. Kong

    Godzilla vs. Kong

    ★★

    Pretty stupid, even for a movie about a giant gorilla using a magic axe to beat the shit out of a nuclear iguana.

    At this point, four chapters deep into this shared cinematic monsterverse, my issues with these films start to turn inward. What do I want? What do I expect? Why have I been so consistently disappointed with these movies? It's not like there's some illustrious line of Godzilla prestige pics leading me to expect high art. Shit, precedent…

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  • Geostorm

    Geostorm

    ★½

    Back in 1994 I had a huge crush on a cheerleader at my high school named Ginger Jordan. The odds were decidedly not in my favor; I was a pudgy, oily-skinned, Zucker-Abrahams-Zucker-obsessed sophomore, while Ginger was a senior, one of the most popular students at the school, and only a few months away from heading off to college at UGA. Ginger tolerated my presence in a court-jester-to-the-queen sort of way—we shared the same drama class, during which I would use…

  • Harmontown

    Harmontown

    ★½

    I'm guessing it was around half an hour into Neil Berkeley's Harmontown that I realized I wasn't a very big fan of Dan Harmon. Yeah, I like the spur-of-the-moment looseness of his Harmontown podcast, but I'm more entertained by his show "comptroller" Jeff Davis and his dungeonmaster Spencer Crittenden (part of the show is an ongoing game of Dungeons & Dragons) than by Harmon himself. He comes off as alternately clever and whiny, with the latter overtaking the former as the…