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  • Horror Express

    Horror Express

    ★★★½

    There are many things to enjoy about Horror Express. Cushing and Lee work so well of each other (obviously) and I found their banter very endearing. I liked the colourful cast (well except maybe the monk, but I understood his function in the movie.) I loved everyone hating on the monk and choosing science, rational thought and fact based decision making over superstition. And last but not least, I loved how the miniature model work looked so convincing (that last scene though.. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ )

  • Fudoh: The New Generation

    Fudoh: The New Generation

    ★★★★

    An assassin using her genitals to shoot darts at balloons and/or evil dudes is:

    A. Gross! I'm telling mom you're watching dirty movies!
    B. What is a genitals?
    C. The second best thing since sliced bread!
    D. 42

    If you answered A: GET OUT OF MY ROOM SIS!
    If you answered B: watch this, you might learn something!
    If you answered C: Hell yeah.. enjoy!!
    If you answered D: Do you know where your towel is?

  • I Know Who Killed Me

    I Know Who Killed Me

    ★★★½

    Surprisingly enough, Lindsay Lohan didn't bother me too much in this movie. Sure she doesn't have a whole lot of range, but she is passable. No, what bothered me was the dialogue and the character interactions; they were so bad! What kind of police detectives would berate the victim of a horrendous crime? I would hope that IRL these people would be out of a job!

    Anyways..

    I did like the overall story and loved how over the top crazy…

  • Knives Out

    Knives Out

    ★★★★

    First time since seeing it at the cinemas. Still super fun! This time I started to look for certain things that I knew were important and it made me appreciate the attention to detail even more. Johnson and co. really did an excellent job here. I hope he gets to do more of these smaller, creative movies; they seem to be his wheelhouse.

    I watched it with my little sister who hadn't seen it before. It was fun to watch…

  • Zombie 3

    Zombie 3

    ★★★

    Although this troubled production is only partially directed by Fulci, I do want to include it in my Fulci ranked list, so a rewatch was in order.

    Apparently 50 minutes of Fulci's footage was used for this movie and the rest was added by Mattei/Fragasso. It is pretty obvious who did what here. Fulci has more of an eye for shot composition, while Mattei is more econo in that regard. It's also pretty hard to miss the Fragasso written dialogue…

  • How to Seduce a Virgin

    How to Seduce a Virgin

    ★★★½

    Alice Arno is send to a psychiatric hospital after an incident where she castrates a man with a razorblade. She is released a year later but quickly falls back in her old demented ways when she, her husband and the mute maid lure the girl next door to their home, to have their way with her.

    Just your typical perverted Jess Franco drama (according to lb) involving murder, hunchbacks, lesbian seduction, kidnapping, whipping, striptease, (real-life) mannequins and betrayal. Because this…

  • Prisoner Maria: The Movie

    Prisoner Maria: The Movie

    ★★½

    La Femme Nikita by way of cheap Japanese soap opera. With a laughable plot involving mind control and a villain ripped straight out of a cartoon, this won't ever be anything more than uninspired z-grade fare. The English voice actors are seriously phoning in their performance.

  • Under Investigation

    Under Investigation

    ★★½

    Harry Hamlin must be one of the most unprofessional police detectives ever; getting into a light bdsm sexual relationship with a suspect mostly to find out if she ties a certain knot. Sure.. alright..

    It was pretty obvious for me what was going on here. I don't know if it's because of bad writing or me seeing a ton of these type of movies. It's probably a bit of both.

    It would be a cool move, casting an actor who…

  • The Killer with a Thousand Eyes

    The Killer with a Thousand Eyes

    ★★½

    Michael Lawrence is a suave Interpol agent who kicks the collective asses of the Portuguese criminal underground with the beautiful elegance of a drunk grizzly bear. It also varies from scene to scene if he's English or not, with his accent appearing and disappearing seemingly at random.

    This poliziottesco with slight giallo elements has no sex or nudity to speak of, which felt kind of refreshing to be honest. There was however this weird scene with a cockfight, where a…

  • The Devil's Honey

    The Devil's Honey

    ★★★½

    Another day, another Fulci revisit. I need to refresh my memory a bit with some of his movies before I can make my list.

    Are we sure The Devil's Honey isn't secretly a comedy, because I find it hysterical! Just about everything is exaggerated; the softcore level sleaze, the overly dramatic reactions, even the wineglasses were blown out of proportion (they were huge!)

    And that infamous saxaphone scene.. I mean.. what can I possibly say that hasn't already been said…

  • Woodshock

    Woodshock

    ★★★

    Damn, Woodshock sure is some contemplative gloomy doom porn! It's easy to compare it to Lars von Trier's Melancholia but that would be a disservice to both movies, I think. Sure, both deal with depression, are very artistic and star Kirsten Dunst, but that's where the similarities end.

    Melancholia was much more interested in transporting Dunst's suffocating inner world to outside her head, while Woodshock just shows her daily routine and keeps a small distance.

    Speaking of Dunst, she is…

  • Arizona Road

    Arizona Road

    ★★★

    A De Angelis actioner in a western setting starring former model turned actor turned wannabe GOP Congressman Antonio Sabàto, Jr.

    In Arizona Road, Jr. saves Aurora, a young nun (played by the stunning Teresa Leopardi) from being sold (?) to a corrupt politician. He returns her to the covenant and continues with his life. Some time later he runs into Aurora again but she has left the covenant and is now working in a brothel (?) Jr. does not approve…