• The Mitchells vs. The Machines

    The Mitchells vs. The Machines

    ★★★★★

    i cannot believe that sony made a campy robot apocalypse comedy for bitches trying to process and recover from the emotional trauma of being socially ostracized from your family who do not understand you on a fundamental level as an adult but they’re still your family and you want to recapture the relationship you had with them as a kid but everyone is allergic to communication so it takes the literal end of the world to see tangible emotional growth. it’s me i’m bitches this movie was made for me

  • Hairspray

    Hairspray

    body positivity, showing the importance of cultural appreciation, catchy songs and amazing dancing?!? is it a perfect movie? unfortunately no. is it a perfect pick me up movie? you bet ur whole ass it is!

  • Paddington 2

    Paddington 2

    ★★★★★

    there are many films that could have replaced citizen kane as the greatest film of all time, but i think the people chose correctly in getting paddington bear up on that pedestal. i believe in paddington bear 2 supremacy

  • The Mummy

    The Mummy

    ★★

    maybe if i had nostalgia it’d seem better, but i just see a long mess of dated cgi and casual racism. points for rachel weisz tho

  • A Cure for Wellness

    A Cure for Wellness

    ★★★½

    we still don’t fully understand where eels come from so as far as anyone knows, ritual mummification could be part of the eel life cycle

  • Akron

    Akron

    ★½

    there’s a scene of a high school play where it’s clear that the actors are trying to ham up doing a clunky performance but unfortunately, all of the dialogue is delivered with the same weird clunky energy


    gay midwest rights tho 🏳️‍🌈

  • Dark Shadows

    Dark Shadows

    there is no reason that this movie should exist and even less reason for me to have watched it

  • The Ritual

    The Ritual

    ★★

    nice creature, david. pity about your script tho

  • Labyrinth

    Labyrinth

    ★★★★

    absolutely incomprehensible, thank you luv ❤️

  • Whisper of the Heart

    Whisper of the Heart

    ★★★★

    concrete roads is a banger tho, ngl

  • About Time

    About Time

    ★★★★

    this is the boring, quiet, domestic rep i want to see. more tranquil little mediations on life’s little moments that frame utter normalcy as a perfect little irreplaceable thing

  • 1922

    1922

    ★★★

    men think they’re so good with money and murder but ironic story framing says otherwise