F9 ★★½

"It brings me little to no joy to say that F9—the ninth film in the recently coined Fast Saga and the tenth film overall in the multi-billion-dollar Fast & Furious franchise—jumps the shark so completely that it almost passes for intentional self-parody. Almost. Running on fumes for much of its bloated two-and-a-half-hour runtime, this utterly braindead film practically leaps into the realm of unhinged absurdity-as-spectacle, replacing quaint water ski gimmicks for street racer spies-cum-superheroes, magnetic MacGuffins, improvised rocketry, and an obscene $200 million dollar budget."

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