T2 Trainspotting

T2 Trainspotting ★★★★

Choose life. Choosing making an unnecessary sequel. Choose waiting too long to make a sequel. Choose creative bankruptcy. Choose falling out with your lead actor because you prefer Leonardo DiCaprio. Choose falling out with your director because he prefers Leonardo DiCaprio over you. Choose a distinct lack of time-travelling cyborgs with Austrian accents. Choose retreading old ground. Choose living off the nostalgia of the original film. Choose T2 Trainspotting.

And yet, one moment perfectly encapsulated what this film is about. As someone who was never a devotee of Trainspotting, I was instantly on board at that moment when Spud leaves the boxing gym and sees an echo of his younger self being chased - an echo of the opening scene from the original film - and Underworld's 'Born Slippy' begins to creep in. So with that in mind, let's start over.

Choose T2 Trainspotting. Choose lost youth and regret. Choose turning your sequel into a tragic yearning for the past. Choose subverting the "choose life" speech, formerly a playful joke amongst mates, into the cynical ramblings of a middle-aged addict. Choose making a much better 20-year legacy sequel than Independence Day: Resurgence. Choose nostalgia. Choose doing nostalgia way better than Star Wars: The Force Awakens. Choose no more catholics! Choose bleaching your hair like Sick Boy (again). Choose Begbie looking like a retired porn star. Choose a distinct lack of time-travelling cyborgs with Austrian accents. Choose somehow pulling it all off. Choose actually making a film better than the much-loved original. Choose to still be an original fucker and writing your T2 Trainspotting review as a "choose life" speech. And of course, choose watching it all on a big fucking television.

Choose your future, Veronica. Choose life.

2017 ranked

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