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  • Defiance

    Defiance

    ★★★½

    It's two-fisted Mormons vs the mob! This 20-minute SOV action short by actual LDS Elders is ostensibly about following religious rules, but is really a stunt-filled, beat-'em-up chase movie set and shot in North Carolina. On P-day, the once-a-week chance that Mormons have to catch up on their personal chores, a pair of youthful missionaries accidentally get caught up in a drug drop due to a shopping bag mix-up. When one Elder is kidnapped by an eyepatch-clad dealer upset his…

  • Tiger Claws III: The Final Conflict

    Tiger Claws III: The Final Conflict

    ★★½

    Like if KUNG FU THE LEGEND CONTINUES went drinking with SUPERMAN II, an SNES MORTAL KOMBAT cart, season 9 of DALLAS and a tired-looking Carter Wong.

  • Surfer© Teen Confronts Fear

    Surfer© Teen Confronts Fear

    ★½

    Endless dumber

  • B.C. A Special Christmas

    B.C. A Special Christmas

    ★★★

    Imagine thinking it would not only be a great idea to do a Christmas special featuring cavemen that live in a pre-Christian era, but also to base it on a newspaper comic strip that literally references this time discrepancy in its title. But when you get Bob & Ray to do the voice work, I guess none of that really matters.

  • Monster Mash: The Movie

    Monster Mash: The Movie

    ★★

    This movie is about cinema's classic monsters being horny for Candace Cameron.

  • Voodoo Man

    Voodoo Man

    ★★★

    You really got to give it up for John Carradine on the bongos.

  • The Little Dragons

    The Little Dragons

    ★★

    Walt Disney Presents The Hills Have Eyes

  • Mars Needs Women

    Mars Needs Women

    ★★

    Story Needs Padding

  • Hijacked to Hell

    Hijacked to Hell

    ★★★

    An action-packed Indonesian remake of WAGES OF FEAR? Not quite, but this is as close as it gets, with John Phillip Law, local leading man Barry Prima and (Captain Kronos himself) Horst Janson hired to transport a goddamn giant laser cannon across the country to free trapped miners. After a tedious and talky first third, the trio climb into a heavy duty flatbed truck and the film lets fly with wild stunts, big explosions and a notable body count that…

  • Death Wish V: The Face of Death

    Death Wish V: The Face of Death

    ★★½

    Chicki Paconi, killed by cannoli.

  • Two Evil Eyes

    Two Evil Eyes

    ★★★

    If you plan to lie about killing your girlfriend's cat, the first step is not to take photos of the murder. The second is not to publish those photos as the cover of your next book. Harvey Keitel does both these things, while wearing a beret.

  • Delivery Boys

    Delivery Boys

    ★★½

    It's the B-boy/pizza/teen sex comedy knock-off you didn't even know you wanted. Mixing the breakdance competition storyline of the previous year's hit BREAKIN' with off-the-wall lewd hijinks as popularized by films like SCREWBALLS, 1985 obscurity DELIVERY BOYS is the vaguely homoerotic story of a fledgling dance crew with matching embroidered jean jackets that deliver pizzas for a local eatery when not practicing windmills and hand glides. Rival Spider (Mario Van Peebles dressed to the nines and doing his best patois),…