Star Wars: The Last Jedi

Star Wars: The Last Jedi ★½

Now I know what it must have felt like to be the one person that hated Phantom Menace when it came out, got positive reviews and everyone loved it.

I don't care about the plot holes or "Star Wars rule breaking" that people seem to be upset about. I'm saying from a technical objective standpoint The Last Jedi is absolutely terrible.

I was just gonna say that this movie is bad and not put any effort into this review like the script of this movie, but I thought I would at least defend my claims so in 5 years when everyone realizes this movie sucks they can come back to this review and view my insightful words.

Yes, the script is bad. Rian Johnson the director of Brick most definitely did not write this. Brick has some great dialogue, but in this movie? Badbadbabdbadbabd!! The dialogue has so much exposition that I laughed because of it. The movie is filled with so many really dumb lines as well. There is no deeper meaning to anything and no themes to be found anywhere.

The story is so uninteresting. So much stuff happens that does nothing for the plot. There is no rewatch value. "But Caleb" I hear you saying "I want to see that awesome part where the main characters ride on CGI creatures through a planet we've never seeeeen in a Star Wars movie! I looooved that part! I'm getting the Blu-ray to watch it again and again!!!" The space battles are lame and the lightsaber fights are too short to get invested in. Between the fights there are long boring parts where characters just look at each other and nothing happens. Or maybe too much stuff happens? Either way, it's real bad.

The CGI is great at times but terrible in others. The overabundance of CGI will not age well, just like the prequels.
Also CGI **** before he abruptly turns into a puppet looked really fake. Why wasn't he just a puppet the whole time?!?!?!?

I almost forgot to mention the paper thin characters. Fin was surprisingly terrible. Luke didn't give a crap at all and you can tell. Ray just Ray's about. Snoke doesn't do a single thing. Poe is lame. Adam Driver is good I guess, but would I say that if I hadn't seen Frances Ha? Everyone else is mediocre to bad.

The Last Jedi doesn't build on anything setup the previous movie. For example when one character gets cut in half it's shocking, but then you think about it. Why? Was the whole point of the character just to die? For a crowd pleasing audience shocker? It felt so cheap. Questions that were asked in Force Awakens are answered but it stupid ways. But hey at least Phasma had a lot to do in this movie!!

Everything is made to sell toys and stuffed porgs. Even if you disagree with everything else I say in this review, you can't deny this. 

And finally my biggest complaint with The Last Jedi is Rose. I've thought about it long and hard and Rose is officially my least favorite Star Wars character. Jar Jar Binks has moved up! Congratulations!

All that being said, I actually really loved CGI superman Leia!!! That part was so good!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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