Les Misérables ★★★★½

•valjean said fuck blue lives and fuck that cobalt smock thing of javert’s in act 1 specifically
•BIG shouts to colm wilkinson for just absolutely wilding the fuck out the ENTIRE time he’s on screen. now thats the fleabag priest for me
•javert casting: russell crowe OUT, the “[desk slam] NOT on my watch” vine woman IN
•hugh jackman absolutely covered in literal shit looking like some bug eyed cryptid while sadly pleading with russell crowe absolutely SENT ME this time around. phantom is that you
•hot mme thénardier is really such a monumental flex from helena when you think about it. I miss her. netflix leak the crown s3
•”dooon’t cry. Showmewhereyou live” truly WHAT the fuck
•Eddie redmayne looking sad..... perhaps the world’s first hetero twink??? (edit: just realised that tom hooper thought so apparently)
•speak of the devil - tom hooper accidentally having a career because the world couldn’t chose between fincher and nolan is. just. 
•it’s embarrassing actually every time I have to endure shots like “Javert Inimitidate So ... Make Look Big? Shoot Inside Nasal Cavity”  i feel like forcing him to rewrite his title deeds in my name
•I mean was that booty crack as javert falls into the water and dies really necessary??? tom?????
•having said that if I see another chunderous clown ever in the world say something like “they’re FRENCH why do they speak ENGLISH why aren’t they doing FRENCH ACCENTS” im going to demand their molars. theres a french version already you eediót.
•also consider that we would all combust if hugh jackman had to add one more element to his voice? his CONSTANT vibrato makes my ass clench in sympathy for those poor cords
•anyway i was mostly doing jokes - this movie is so EASY to make fun of you guys - but as someone who has an enduring, complicated and largely very sad relationship with this musical this movie is ... weird. it makes a lot of weird choices and doesn’t understand itself even remotely but confession: i still haven’t watched the end because i’m not in the mood to be destroyed by “to love another person is to see the face of god” yet again

indi liked this review