Change Your Mind

This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

This review may contain spoilers.

man, this came out this year? feels like this was a hundred years ago. anyways since letterbox'd erroneously considers this a movie i may as well write about it, because it's bad, and also not Really a movie.

some scholars have criticized this show for its shoddy plotlines, subpar animation, and its heaping loads of racism, and this "movie" manages to sum up all of these things into a single package of more-or-less everything that this show is. of course, if you managed to stay with the show after the episode with the human zoo - and you would think that somebody, somewhere in the chain of command at Cartoon Network would look at the phrase "human zoo" and think "hmmmm maybe we shouldn't have a 'human zoo' in our children's television show" - you'll probably find this delightful, i guess, where steven, the magical boy-who-can-do-no-wrong, manages to use the power of friendship to make White Diamond change her mind on letting Steven stay out after 9 pm. just kidding, it's about the destruction of the world through imperial colonization.

in the mind of most fans of this show, these extrapolations don't matter. it's okay that a show's moral is that if you reason with fascists then everything will work out (reason here is being used lightly because Steven calls her a child and then she changes her mind?) because the real-world implications and symbolism applied from the beginning of the show does not matter. while i disagree with those individuals, i can respect that take. it's wrong, but i can respect it. that doesn't fix the issues with this "movie".

some more fun things to think about:
- that bit where Blue Diamond, who is "redeemed", calls Connie Maheswaran Steven's "pet"
- that bit where Connie Maheswaran compares White Diamond - a person who is literally trying to destroy the entire Earth - to her mother, who committed the crimes of 1) not letting her eat donuts or watch Under the Knife 2) got angry when Connie ran away from home 3) got very angry the time that Connie came home with a giant fucking sword
- of all of the main villains in the show the only one that didn't get any chance to really redeem themselves was Jasper, who gets mentioned in the epilogue of this movie that's supposed to tie up the loose ends
- earlier on in the show the creators of the show emphasized that if Steven was disconnected from his gem that he would die. guess they changed their minds on that one lmao
- speaking of earlier in the show remember those several times where Steven was supposed to have his entire existential "who am I?" crisis resolved? almost like the writers of this show don't have ideas
- there's a sequence in this movie that's animated by James Baxter, one of the best animators of all time. it makes everything else that happens in this "movie" look like dogshit
- hopefully in five years we'll be able to look back at this show after its over and be able to go "wait one second, this wasn't actually good" in the same way that we can look back at BBC Sherlock