RSS feed for PretentiousC
  • Care Bears Movie II: A New Generation

    Care Bears Movie II: A New Generation

    ★★½

    Yo this was so good. I care!

  • Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer

    Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer

    ★★★★½

    Put this on in the background while I decorated but noticed the fascist undertones are STRIKING!

  • Troll

    Troll

    ★★★★

    Classic urban fantasy. I rewatched this so many times as a kid, so there’s huge nostalgia value here for me. In reality this is probably a 2.5 star film, but by god if it isn’t fun.

    Cheesy? Oh yeah, but even the creatures and 2D effects are incredibly charming even today. Like opening some old spell book. 

    Also lesbian professor Mcgonagall? Sweet Jesus yes. I’m betting money JK Rowling stole top secret information from this masterpiece.

  • The Good Liar

    The Good Liar

    ★★★½

    Tickity boom BITCH!

  • The Cook, the Thief, His Wife & Her Lover

    The Cook, the Thief, His Wife & Her Lover

    ★★★★★

    The BEST thanksgiving movie 🍗🍷🍽

  • Klaus

    Klaus

    ★★★

    Extremely predictable but super holly jolly. Evokes some very strong Disney renaissance vibes, but it’s done so so well it feels fresh and exciting. If I saw this as a kid it would definitely be a favorite.

  • Harriet

    Harriet

    ★★★

    Tubman’s true story is not done true justice by this film. Cynthia Erivo carries the whole film on her back.

    Janelle Monáe should’ve been able to live out her lesbian subplot!

  • Doctor Sleep

    Doctor Sleep

    ★★

    Claire Denis really said all fluids are the same and I can’t stop thinking about that.

    Anyways I read this book in high school. I hated it then and I hate it now. I can’t believe King made this story canon. 

    Mike here does the best with what he’s given. The story just can’t be saved - especially if you’re adapting it so faithfully. Such a strong disconnect between the king-isms and the Kubrick-isms I found it very distracting and honestly laughable. 

    Best part was definitely how CRAZY big hat lady Rose was. She really called that kid “BitchChild” (tm)

  • High Life

    High Life

    ★★★★½

    Fucked up if true.

  • Meet Me in St. Louis

    Meet Me in St. Louis

    ★★★★

    “I don’t hate you, I just hate basketball!” 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

  • Yentl

    Yentl

    ★★★★

    Best served with lentils.

  • Parasite

    Parasite

    ★★★★½

    As if I needed yet another reason to be afraid of squatters in my first-class bougie-ass walls 🙄🤮🍑