Friday the 13th Part III

Friday the 13th Part III ★★

Since the boxset arrived, Part III is the movie I'd been dreading the most. Say what you will about later Friday movies, Part III is the worst for me. In my memory, I liked it more than I actually do, probably because the big take away is Shelly and getting the hockey mask put in cannon. Other than that, this movie actually sucks!

An exercise in trend hopping, putting the movie in 3-D is the first of many unnecessary one note additions to the movie. Whether it's the 80s or 00s, the 3-D phase was nothing but that, a phase, with nothing of substance to it. Padding out movies with pointless exchanges that present the opportunity to turn a visual three dimensional. We get an opening of a completely random couple with some horribly pointless scenes to give the 3-D a chance to stretch it's legs, but it's lame and the kills sucked.

Punks. Jesus Christ, the motorcycle punks. Another trend of antagonists in movies at the time, Part III shoves them in here as well. These guys are dick heads you hate to hate, no reason to have them in here and they're just as quickly killed off. More bodies for the pile, but they were all killed in a quick way that was pretty lackluster. And dear lord, don't get me started on the stoners. The less said about that stupid couple the better.

What a boring fucking movie, we get very little story, just kids in a cabin and Jason shows up. I know he's supposedly following one of the girls but it's really brushed by in comparison to the plotless scenes of nothing happening. Shelly is alright, he's the unsung hero of this movie. This dude has more personality than the entire rest of the cast combined. He died so that Jason could get the mask, a sacrifice that had to be made.

Nostalgia blinders are off, this movie is not a good one. There were never any good uses of the 3-D except for the harpoon to the eye, the characters are dumb. They're the worst kind of people to watch in a movie, annoying and clueless morons. Jason is non-existent up to the very end, his shadow or being there for two seconds doesn't count. If F13 took the formula and perfected it for imitators, Part III took it and made it shit for those lazy fuckers that don't want to put work in.

The backloading of kills for the last 20 minutes was a bad move, it's like they took a giant leap forward with Part II and then slid down with III. Not only was this a shameless attempt to captalize on current trends, it did a terrible job at it. At least when Part II leaned into the cheese of the genre it was fun and game changing. What a bad movie!

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