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  • Black Mirror: Striking Vipers

    Black Mirror: Striking Vipers

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    ...or Being Pom Klementieff.

    First things first, let us stop pretending this is still Black Mirror. That show more or less ended eight years ago with Season 1. One need only compare and contrast The National Anthem with Ashley Too to see how it has devolved from genuinely disturbing cutting-edge television to Streaming Empire snake-oiling that shits where it eats while catalyzing our tears and selling them straight back to us. *creak creak* don't panic, that's just Ol Man Teddy…

  • Robinson and His Tempestuous Slaves

    Robinson and His Tempestuous Slaves

    ★½

    The Year of Franco #34

    Jesus, Jesús. This is not a good look.

    A so-called 'sex comedy' about a long-suffering pharmacist unappreciated by his boss and henpecked by his wife and mother-in-law. He bonds with Defoe's literary adventurer, figuring he's clearly Crusoe's descendant since they share the same name plus he has a dream to live on a tropical island with beautiful women. Uncanny. Having ascertained that the only medicine to cure his work-a-day doldrums is to make real his…

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  • Twin Peaks: The Return

    Twin Peaks: The Return

    ★★★★★

    Phenomena upon phenomena upon phenomena.

    Where are we even at with media?

    What night-time lost highway are we on?

    What year is this?

    Who would even know how to write this up? The linguistic gymnastics it would require to detail the specific machinations of drama on display here are well out of my reach. Why even bother with a synopsis – a dutiful major is assigned to the hangover of Project Blue Book and unearths the mysteries of the evil…

  • Mandy

    Mandy

    ★★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    (cranking rn: Bongripper - Satan Worshipping Doom)

    Somewhere in our universe there is a planet of subterranean axe-forging barbarian troglodytes who give an award for Most Metal Movie of All Time. I think this might just be a contender.

    King Crimson's Starless, in case you weren't already aware, is one of the greatest rock songs ever written, and it is now imbued with a renewed gravity, married forever to the image of a burly woodsman cutting down a sapling, in…