“We must break the nose of everything beautiful.”

When Twin Peaks: The Return came out last summer, I wasn’t quite sure how to process what was going on. Here was something that took one of my most formative artistic and personal influences and redefined it in defiant, forward-thinking, willfully form-breaking ways while telling me that, from now on, I could never go back. It took me a while to come to grips with what was going on, but eventually I made my peace with Lynch’s work. The original series still meant everything to me, but there was room enough in my heart for more than one interpretation of Twin Peaks. I didn’t have to choose.

...look, what I’m trying to say here is that Luca Guadagnino just Twin Peaks: The Return-ed Suspiria, and I’m all here for it. I’m not sure I’m comfortable with all the mother!/Neon Demon comparisons, though - this is so much more well-written and compassionate towards its characters than those two will ever be, and its “elevated horror” approach feels less cynical about the genre than most others of its ilk. Can’t wait to see how all of the Argento fans react to [REDACTED], [DOUBLE REDACTED], and of course [SUPER ULTRA MEGA REDACTED].

Also, seeing Jessica Harper in this only confirms my feelings that Hollywood never gave her the massive career she deserved. It isn’t too late to rectify this, studio heads!