Quintin 📽 Philipson’s review published on Letterboxd:
A man walks up to a big metal door and scans a card he found this morning. The door clicks and opens up. At the entrance of the bar stands Gandalf with a clipboard and a towering Totoro blocking the entrance.
"Hello young traveler," Gandalf announces. "What is your name?"
"The name is Bond," Bond says. He takes a step forward as the light from the bar reveals Daniel Craig's face. "James Bond."
Gandalf looks at his list on the clipboard to see if he is on the guest list.
"You shall pass!"
Totoro moves to the side so Bond can walk in.
Bond enters the bar and walks past Luke Skywalker telling Indiana Jones he looks familiar.
Bond takes a seat at the bar and John Hammond looks up as he's wiping the counter. "Welcome to Fourassic Park!" Hammond shouts. "What can I get for ya?"
"I'll have a martini, shaken not stirred." He takes his drink and turns to the people sitting beside him.
"Howdy there partner," Woody says to him.
"Howdy, why are we all here?" Bond asks.
"This is a collection of all the franchises a Letterboxd reviewer has given four stars or more for one of their films."
"Who is this reviewer?" Bond asks.
"Some dweeb named Quintin," Tony Stark answers. "But this place serves free drinks so I come every weekend."
"I've never been here before," Bond replies. "I just got a letter this morning about it."
"That's because Quintin finally liked one of your films," Stark says. "You should feel honored."
"It took him 22 movies to finally like one of mine?" Bond asks.
"That's okay, I like all your movies." Paddington says as he joins the group. "You work really hard at all of them and that's all that matters."
"How long did it take for you guys to get in the club?"
"First try," Woody says.
"About six," Stark replies.
"It isn't a competition," Paddington answers. "We are all here now and that's wonderful."
"Let me in pudding"
"What the fuck is that terrible noise?" Bond asks nervously.
"That's Harley Quinn and a minion," Stark says. "Don't worry, they'll never be allowed in."