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  • Manhunter
  • Blood Simple
  • Zardoz
  • Blow Out

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  • The Yards

    ★★★

  • The Princess

  • Sweet Charity

    ★★★★

  • Uncle Sam

    ★★

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  • Sully

    Sully

    ★★★★½

    ♫ This is the Captain, brace that ass for impact.
    Don't doubt, motherfucker, ain't in the abstract.
    Bird strikin' tiddies, with bitches that is stacked.
    Black box, listen close, make your balls retract. ♫

    ♫ Ain't no crash, perfect forced water landing.
    Back the fuck off, 'fore I piss where you standing.
    I'm fucking filthy, just got the right branding.
    Ride on my mustache, that pussy commanding. ♫

    ♫ Can't sully this Sully, King of the Controls.
    Going ballistic, laying pipe 'round the poles,
    She start chanting, while I'm filling her holes:
    He did it, one hundred and fifty-five souls. ♫

  • Children of the Corn

    Children of the Corn

    ♫ The sins of modernity done made your ass weak
    Tremblin' before me as I'm spreadin' some cheek
    My crew's long knives stab-stabbin' your papa
    While I'm bangin' in the rows with girls that guapa ♫

    ♫ Got my suit and my tie and my round ass hat
    My creepy stare'll smoke ya as sure as a gat
    Y'all little bitches gonna end up in graves
    Cuz Isaac'll kill ya with the power of maize ♫

    ♫ Zapping puny brains…

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  • The Yards

    The Yards

    James Caan is doing a masterclass in eyebrows. Killing entire scenes by gazing off in the distance, smoke curling out of his nostrils, paragraphs of internal conflict hinted at by a small twitch of his brow.

    Everybody else is just going for maximum glum, permanent misery, absolute mope.

  • The Princess

    The Princess

    I mean, they had to do something with all those Game of Thrones sets.

    Sure, I submitted a lengthy and highly detailed proposal to do a production of Hamlet - exclusively a reinterpretation of the 2000 Michael Almereyda adaptation with Ethan Hawke as Hamlet and Bill Murray as Polonius - but they had to make a choice and they didn't choose the side of intellectual rigor. Like, really mine down into that fucker. What does the floppy knit hat Hamlet wears have to say about the mental impotence of the modern American male? We'll never know because they made this instead.

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