Gone Girl

Gone Girl ★★★

This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

This review may contain spoilers.

After the credits rolled I was left with a general feeling of meh...those 149 minutes could have been worse. Later that day the meh feeling morphed into one of ambivalence, ambivalence spritzed with meh. Over the next couple of days I went ahead and ran this film through the spin cycle of my thought box, then tumble dried that shit.

End result: abject indifference.

The performances are stellar with Tyler Perry being a surprise, Carrie Coon and Kim Dickens being the highlights, Affleck continuing to prove himself and Patrick Fugit thrown in to remind me of his existence.

The score...is unbelie-honestly let's just change the Oscar category to the Reznor and Ross award. I'll watch anything scored by these two. If you told me - right now - Dracula Untold was scored by Reznor and Ross I would leave the house immediately, to go the cinema, palm people's faces out of my way and buy a ticket.

The narrative of Gone Girl, along with its visual execution, is what ultimately turned me off; it all feels so uninspired and practical as a series of images unfold before me content with showing, just showing, and not delving into any of the topics at hand. And, if they are they are instantly undermined by the outlandish plot conveniences and the laughable backstory of the gone girl. I was on-board with all of the film's proceedings until the twist and its godawful execution as Fincher and Flynn drag me along, unwillingly, by the arm on a step-by-step tour of Amy's plan...like I'm some fucking child. I find this, and will always find this, to be grossly insulting as I'm forced to begrudgingly stumble through some grade school voice-over overflowing with immature generalizations.

Then, Neil Patrick Harris's character. He's like the narrative equivalent of the Staples Easy Button.

There's plenty more but I got an O's game to catch.

Scoot? Scoot...is that you, Scoot? You keep popping up this year, unexpectedly.

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