• Mind Game

    Mind Game

    ★★★★

    Oh yeah, I need more Yuasa in my viewing future.

  • The Princess Bride

    The Princess Bride

    ★½

    Maybe it's Cary Elwes, who I find to be completely devoid of any charisma, but I didn't really enjoy this one bit. I liked Falk (obviously) and, of course, André the Giant but found everything else lackluster. Perhaps things would be different if I watched this during my childhood.

  • The Guilty

    The Guilty

    ★★½

    They americanized it!

  • New York Ninja

    New York Ninja

    Honestly, I only watched this because of that guy in the trailer. What guy? The guy that sports a braided rattail. Which is special enough but then this fucking guy goes & pulls that braided rattail real taut like & and bites down on it like it gives him superpowers. I wanted to know that guy's story. Fuck a New York Ninja, that guy is lame. Braided rattail biter is the character I'm here for.

    He bites his rattail more than once…

  • The Beyond

    The Beyond

    ★★★★½

    Incredible gore with an added bonus of making a little girl's head explodable for no other reason than having a little girl's head explode. Everyone else getting shot in the head? Nothing more than your standard bullet wound dotting the forehead. A little girl getting shot in the head? The entirety of the back of her head violently explodes like a shotgun was trapped inside her skull & desperately wanted to escape & was immensely successful.

    Didn't seem to make a whole lot of sense, overall but I can't say I cared much because of the aforementioned gore and such.

  • In the Earth

    In the Earth

    ★★★

    decent enough effort - love the idea - but goodness me, the experimental imagery stuff is horrendous. It's like Wheatley just learned about it & he's figuring out in front of us.

  • No One Gets Out Alive

    No One Gets Out Alive

    ★★★½

    helluva ending. love that kind of shit.
    such a pleasant surprise

  • 30 Days of Night

    30 Days of Night

    ★★½

    pretty lackluster overall with no sense of tension or dread or anything captivating really, just slaughter followed by waiting. a great premise that feels underutilized but then again someone does put their fist straight through someone's skull which is incredible.

  • The Fog

    The Fog

    ★★★½

    How do you not once yell out "who is it!?" when someone banging on your door like that? Location shots + location shots with neon fog = phenomenal stuff. Great, economical stuff all-around.

  • The Last Matinee

    The Last Matinee

    ★★★

    Best part/kill came from the film being shown in the theater wherein an arm burst through the pastor's chest and then rips his ass through the window. Fucking great, that. All the other kills pale in comparison.

  • Pink Flamingos

    Pink Flamingos

    ★★★★½

    Incredible premise for a film.
    Nothing funnier than the Baltimore accent, don't know why it just is.

  • The Blood on Satan's Claw

    The Blood on Satan's Claw

    ★★★

    Was really hoping that this would veer into insanity at some point or at least press up against the edges of it but it never does, unfortunately. Disappointing in that regard but overall a pretty solid film that features a goofface devil.