Bohner…, Ralph…Bohner…RALPH…BOHNER…

Ok, I’m only emphasizing that first because the moment Evan Peters showed up on the ending of episode 5 me, and a lot of people, were like: YES, YES, FINALLY, THIS IS BOLD, THIS IS NEW, THEY ARE DOING SOMETHING THAT THE FANS WILL REALLY LIKE TO SEE AND GO OVER OUR HEADS OF EXCITEMENT. A really cool element to explore, and as always in MCU history, something FULL OF POTENTIALS. But what do they do?! They use it to go for the joke, a ERECTION JOKE, and stay there, AGAIN, endlessly and inevitably.

So forget about the first two enjoyable episodes where they really commit into the sitcom premise, recreating the golden age of television and perfectly capturing the format, humor, acting carrying The Dick Van Dyke Show to I Love Lucy, with touches of Bewitched and I Dream of Jeannie as their main inspirations early on. Or the sweet Brady Brunch-ish episode 3. Because from episode 4 and on, not even the Malcom in the Middle-ish episode 6 was enough to avoid my eye rolling for being witnessing the exact same thing yet again.

Another MCU film, playing so freaking safe, so afraid of its own premise and instant strong sense of mystery having to spit it out constantly to the dumb audience, and using it to introduce characters to only explore in countless named sequels or crossovers, fill it with random empty secondary characters that no one cares about and serve to please Kevin Feige’s need of comic relief. Only this time, extended to 4 and half hours of runtime that become as tiring as soon you realize and admit to your false sense of hope that all will lead to basically nothing.

That NOT EVEN the actually sweet narrative about Wanda having to deal with the loss of her beloved ones, going through all the phases of grieve right in front of our eyes, finally having her real emotions and personality flashed out to the audience; it all goes to be wasted for too hurried development, brief or skip moments between her and Paul Bettany’s Vision, sharing amazing chemistry, having actual heartfelt moments, but it never let us sink in to them because is too hurried in delivering another plot point, introduce a villain that seemed taken straight out of Wizards of Waverly Place, false leads that will only be another wink to the audience, amongst other terrible, uneven elements.

The sad part is that people still buy into all of this and leaves it clapping it with tears in their eyes. Well, if generic, conventional, empty product pleases everyone, let them be happy with their Theme Park ride that is the same as before and will soon be forgotten yet again.

I’ve written more about in Portuguese here for those who care to read more of me raging on, as complimenting what it has to be complimented: culturaenegocios.com.br/wandavision-o-bom-e-velho-e-generico-universo-cinematografico-da-marvel/