Suspiria ★½

There is perhaps nothing worse you can say about a movie other than "fuck me, that was stupid."

This was how I felt during the climatic sequence of Suspiria 2018.

After leaving this movie I spent 30 minutes on a computer at home attempting to figure out how far it would've been for an Amish girl to travel from Ohio in the early 1970's to the Martha Graham Dance Center in New York. Considering that there is still an Amish community in Millersburg, OH we can assume that that is the one that she was a part of. To drive straight there would take 8 hours today. I'm not sure what the actual distance would've been in the 1970's, or what that would've looked like through bus routes and stuff, especially for a deeply sheltered girl from a sequestered community.

None of this matters by the way. It doesn't matter to the plot of the movie. It certainly doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things. I simply can't let it go, mostly because there's nothing in this movie to cling onto other than the vague inanities of a failed plot -- the concepts left on the cutting room floor, the muddy colors, the elements that never paid off, the characters crafted just for this movie that bring nothing to this film save run time.

I think I hate this movie.

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