Braun: "Is she out of her mind?"
Rupert: "No, she's not crazy! She's being chased by a cheetah!"

This is really the only line of dialogue I can clearly remember from Wild Beasts. This one and the line where the dispatcher asks the patrolman if he knows what elephants looks like. Wild Beasts has a promising premise, with zoo animals going bonkers after drinking water that has been contaminated with PCP, going on a rampage and just fucking shit up…

Siskel: "Angel is trash."
Ebert: "No it isn't!"

Angel, on the surface, appears to be headed toward sleazy exploitation, but it never seems to go all the way in that direction. There are scenes are high school cheerleaders naked in gym locker rooms, and that's par for the course for this type of film written and produced by old white guys. However, Angel has a little more heart than your average exploitation flick, and that's why it never truly delves…

Honey: "Every woman under attack has the right to defend herself, and in situations where we are constant victims of brutality we must take on the whole armor and defend ourselves."

Ten years into the future of an alternate reality (from 1983), after a revolution had occurred that formed the United States of America into a socialist democracy. And the more things changed, the more they stayed the same. Women are still oppressed, waiting for their dreams of equality to…

Trish: "What I don't see is what she sees in John Minor."
Kim: "Maybe what we don't see."
Trish: "It's not how big it is, remember?"
All together: "It's what's in it that counts!"

Yeah? Well, I'll have you know that it's nothing but veins and a corpus spongiosum. My brain is up here, ladies!

The Slumber Party Massacre is the prototypical 80s slasher. Plenty of nude girls, dumb guys, and a one-note crazed killer with no motivation other than…