Alyssa Heflin

Trans girl who watches too many movies for her own good.

Bio favorites change based on mood.

Favorite films

  • Model
  • Cemetery of Splendor
  • It's a Wonderful Life
  • The Life and Death of Colonel Blimp

Recent activity

  • The 13th Warrior

  • Monrovia, Indiana

  • The Hunt for Red October

  • Deck of Cards

Recent reviews

  • The Hunt for Red October

    The Hunt for Red October

    Beverly Crusher is in this for like a shot, and also the guy who plays Moriarty in a next generation episode where a Moriarty AI in the holdeck gets sentience is in this as a commander on the USS enterprise…Star Trek correctly linked to submarine cinema. 

    Was expecting more of a mano a mano one sub against another deal but was pleasantly surprised by the tapestry of intrigue that McTiernan hits you with. Sam Neill I salute you.

  • Deck of Cards

    Deck of Cards

    The only clown here is Tim Heidecker who RUINED another certified popcorn classic with his bad music and lack of movie expertise.

Popular reviews

  • Uncut Gems

    Uncut Gems


    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    To die is to witness the end of the world. What is a bullet if not a meteor, rocketing into your orbit and shattering the hard bone that protects your universe from collapse. How does it feel to be shot in the brain? Do you disappear all at once, like an ice cube dropped into boiling water? Or do you slowly feel yourself shed your identity piece by piece? Is there a split second where all of a sudden you…



    The part where a single strand of Lynch’s perfectly coiffed hair just slumps down at the accusation that he’s’d he do that??