• Twilight

    Twilight

    ★★★★★

    charlie swan sexiest dilf of all time idc

  • Five Nights at Freddy's

    Five Nights at Freddy's

    ★★★

    best way to watch this is with your best friend who deeply knows the lore and you’re just there to see josh hutcherson be sexy

  • Barbie

    Barbie

    ★★★★★

    SUBLIME!

  • The Place Beyond the Pines

    The Place Beyond the Pines

    ★★★½

    me aged 17 about to watch this for the first time just to see ryan gosling being sexy, not realising i’m about to experience the most traumatic and stressful 140 minutes of my life: 😃

  • The Nice Guys

    The Nice Guys

    ★★★★★

    real ones have known ryan gosling is the funniest man on the planet since this movie dropped 7 years ago

  • Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3

    Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3

    ★★★★½

    bawling my fucking eyes out over a little cgi raccoon who talks like bradley cooper

  • Barbie

    Barbie

    ★★★★★

    even better the second time around 🥹

  • Barbie

    Barbie

    ★★★★★

    THIS IS EVERYTHING I’VE EVER WANTED!!! I CAN’T BELIEVE THEY MADE A MOVIE JUST FOR ME!!!

  • Oppenheimer

    Oppenheimer

    ★★★★

    the “i am become death, destroyer of worlds” line is introduced in the most hilarious way imaginable

  • The X Files

    The X Files

    ★★★★

    this is the sexiest a man and woman have ever looked

  • Face/Off

    Face/Off

    ★★★½

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    face/off opens with a child murder followed immediately by a plane chase and somehow neither of these scenes are even in the top 10 craziest moments of the film

  • Halloween Ends

    Halloween Ends

    what the hell is going on