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  • Twilight Zone: The Movie

    Twilight Zone: The Movie

    Two bad, two good. The less said about Landis’s contribution the better, but Spielberg’s segment is truly unbearable: a perfect storm of embarrassment-by-proxy featuring ageist condescension, godawful child acting, and Scatman Crothers as perhaps the purest modern example of the Magical Negro archetype, all accompanied by a relentless series of layered string crescendos. Fortunately things get better in the back half. Dante’s “It’s a Good Life” twists reality with the manic logic of old Max Fleischer and Chuck Jones cartoons,…

  • Screamers

    Screamers

    Not without its mid-’90s B-movie charms (see Peter Weller’s weary cynicism), but it’s hard to get past the fact that the first third is basically just one long exposition dump delivered by Weller to Andrew Lauer while they trudge through a featureless wasteland. Never really lives up to the potential of its premise, but then The Thing already did that 13 years earlier.

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  • Justice League

    Justice League

    Narratively and structurally incoherent. Barely a film.

  • 2001: A Space Odyssey

    2001: A Space Odyssey

    ZERO GRAVITY TOILET

    PASSENGERS ARE ADVISED TO READ INSTRUCTIONS BEFORE USE

    1. The toilet is of the standard zero-gravity type. Depending on requirements, System A and/or System B can be used, details of which are clearly marked in the toilet compartment. When operating System A, depress lever and a plastic dalkron eliminator will be dispensed through the slot immediately underneath. When you have fastened the adhesive lip, attach connection marked by the large “X” outlet hose. Twist the silver coloured…