Synecdoche, New York

Synecdoche, New York ★★★★★

“And the truth is I feel so angry, and the truth is, I feel so fucking sad, and the truth is, I've felt so fucking hurt for so fucking long and for just as long I've been pretending I'm OK, just to get along, just for, I don't know why, maybe because no one wants to hear about my misery, because they have their own.”

So I finish it, and I’m thinking “Did I like it?”, I’m confused, there is way too much to process, I feel like I didn’t understand anything; and so, I prepare myself to eat and put a video of Karsten Runquist about the film and why it’s his favorite. I process what he’s saying, the meaning it has for his life, and so I start thinking about it too, what I make out of it. I finish my meal, prepare to wash my dishes, and still processing the film in my mind, I begin to cry endlessly, like if I hadn’t cried in so long, just thinking how my own life is passing by, without me, and I just ask myself the same thing over and over again, “What am I doing?”

It had an impact on me that I can’t describe, it really is complicated and doesn’t have a single answer as to what it’s trying to tell; many reviews and essays about the film make out a lot of things, but it really depends on us. 

Sometimes a film has a bigger influence in us when we’re going through something, for me it was realizing I’m not living for the present, I’m thinking of what I want to achieve, that I put everything to the side, my friends, my family, my happiness. And it’s scary living a life without joy, getting what you wanted, but what was the cost for that?

Spectacular experience that will be stuck with me, and will help me to become someone better.

rodo7rp liked this review