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Rod has written 14 reviews for films rated ★★ .

  • Oddball



    Well that was shithouse!

  • Ghosts of Mars

    Ghosts of Mars


    The only real charm here is the narrative device via the Rashomon model, otherwise this was a totally derivative and forgettable film with gormless dialogue being spouted from the mouths of all involved. "Time to party" indeed Ice Cube...

  • Village of the Damned

    Village of the Damned


    I haven't seen the original, but there doesn't seem to be much more here than meets the eye in this community of village idiots. The opening set-piece that sets off the chain of events roped me in (gotta love the poor BBQ'd chap), but the film just feels half-hearted in every aspect from then on, so it is not surprising to see comments from Carpenter that this was merely a contractual undertaking. I'll stick with Haneke's village of dubious children in the future.

  • Racing Stripes

    Racing Stripes


    Babe this certainly is not, but I expected worse...

    The shit-talkin' flies will either be the high point or low point for you.

  • The Cyclist

    The Cyclist


    Sabzian: (in reference to The Cyclist) “That film is a part of me...”

    I dived into Mohsen Makhmalbaf's 1987 film The Cyclist expecting to be moved just as Hossain Sabzian claimed to be in Abbas Kiarostami's Close-up, but sadly I was only urged to hit the stop button on my remote. 

    Having only seen Makhmalbaf's 1996 near masterpiece A Moment of Innocence, my expectations were quite high, only to be disappointed with an incredibly cheesy, manipulative and almost amateurish…

  • I Love You Too

    I Love You Too


    Clichéd and formulaic to the hilt and basically a T.V. soap episode at it's very core.

    Man-children need to wake the f#@k up and the women who love them need to get their pussy wet elsewhere.

    Once again I am underwhelmed by the recent output of my homeland film industry.

    How they afforded Peter Dinklage for a role in this I will never know, but as expected he steals every scene he is in.

    An utter waste of time.

  • How I Live Now

    How I Live Now


    ''No one calls me Elizabeth. Except my dad, and he's an asshole. So if you don't mind, my name is Daisy.''

    *and the audience groans...

    This terribly trite film from Kevin Macdonald who impressed early in his career with Touching the Void and The Last King of Scotland fails to deliver on an interesting premise with a piss-poor script, tiresome montages, a cheesy incestuous teen romance and an unbelievable amount of contrivance. Saoirse Ronan is truly talented and honestly does…

  • Elysium



    Oh how far the bright new hopes of visionary cinema fall when Hollywood dig it's claws in and tears out the soul. Neill Blomkamp, riding a wave on the back of his Oscar nominated low budget debut District 9, has quite obviously sold his soul as many seem to when the are welcomed into the big machine. What was once pure and ambitious, is tainted by overblown budgets and pressure to conform to blockbuster tropes and generic banalities in order…

  • Man of Steel

    Man of Steel


    Christ figures are a regular fixture in the filmiverse, but none come more ham-fisted than this iteration of Superman. Just spot the film quote:

    ''You're the answer, son. You're the answer to "are we alone in the universe".

    ''He will be an outcast. They'll kill him.''

    ''I've been here for 33 years Doctor, I haven't infected anyone yet''

    ''You are weak, Son of El, unsure of yourself. The fact that you possess a sense of morality, and we do not,…

  • Klown



    Wow, was this a disappointment!

    After hearing a couple of respected critics nominating this as one of their favourite films of last year and watching the cheeky trailer, I really expected this Danish Curb Your Enthusiasm mashed with The Inbetweeners throw in a dash of The Hangover to be a real laugh-riot.

    It turns out that I was mostly stone faced throughout, and even to the point of being deeply offended at some of the attempts at humour (especially with…

  • The Color of Pomegranates

    The Color of Pomegranates


    So we are told by way of title cards "This film does not attempt to tell the life story of a poet. Rather, the filmmaker has tried to recreate the poet's inner world through the trepidations of his soul, his passions and torments, widely utilizing the symbolism and allegories specific to the tradition of Medieval poet troubadours (Ashough).'', and so with this, the viewer journey's into the unknown...

    As open minded a viewer as I am, I cannot pretend to…

  • Chained



    Jennifer Chambers Lynch is paving quite a different path to her father David, wallowing in the type of genre trash that by far distances her from the transcendent and revered auteur that is her Daddy. This film ventures into dark and disturbing territory that feels way more like torture-porn than I would care to normally associate with. D'Onofrio plays it up as a wretched Serial Killer with Mommy/Daddy issues, whilst taking on a protege in (Evan Bird/Eamon Farren) Rabbit, whom…