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  • Steamboat Bill, Jr.

    Steamboat Bill, Jr.

    ★★★★½

    Without Steamboat Bill Jr. there'd be no Cabin Boy. Take that as you will.

  • Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason

    Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason

    ★½

    In the throes of serious depression, I decide to watch whatever the hell this is supposed to be. Why does a Bridget Jones sequel share significant DNA with Midnight Express?

    Also it's pretty funny Colin Firth is a human rights lawyer who votes conservative. It's one of those funny contradictions like "jumbo shrimp".

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  • God's Not Dead: A Light in Darkness

    God's Not Dead: A Light in Darkness

    ½

    "Jesus was the ultimate social justice warrior" - actual line of dialogue.

  • Assassination Nation

    Assassination Nation

    ½

    A bad South Park episode directed by Eli Roth who had a bowling ball fall on his head and became convinced he was Harmony Korine.

    Movies were a mistake. Edison electrocuted an elephant for a tech demo and it's been downhill from there. From now on I'll spend $10 to read in an empty room for 2 hours.