• Apocalypto

    Apocalypto

    ★★★★

    It’s been on my list for years and the recent surge in interest thanks to The Rehearsal (if you know, you know), I finally got around to it. 

    It’s a banger. Simplistic, brutal, exciting, and set in an incredibly detailed environment that’s overflowing and almost overwhelmingly full with life. It’s a shame the guy in the director’s chair is who he is because good lord he knows how to make an exciting film.

  • Blonde

    Blonde

    Utterly weightless in every element apart from its preposterous runtime. Vapid and devoid of any real purpose other than to be as pretentious as possible (aspect ratio changes and insane editing choices make this genuinely confounding). 

    Ana de Armas throws everything she has into a role that really doesn’t deserve it, and I hope she gets to play Marilyn in a film that actually likes her.

  • Smile

    Smile

    ★★★★

    Derivative of other horror films, certainly (It Follows meets Drag Me To Hell), but it is remarkably effective at it. Somewhat over reliant on jump scares but for once the jump scares felt earned, the type of walls closing in towards a necessary release jump scare rather than for the sheer sake of it. 

    There’s horrifying imagery abound but cleverly dotted around a very well explored narrative surrounding generational trauma and society’s general lack of care towards mental health. I…

  • Avatar

    Avatar

    ★★★½

    Visually, it’s absolutely years ahead of everything that’s come out in the last 13 years and this came out 13 years ago. An absolute tour de force in craftsmanship and a commitment to world building the likes of which we probably haven’t seen since (the closest recent example is probably Dune). 

    But 

    The plot is as paper thin as I remember, where the villains forget why they’re there for no reason other than bloodlust to commit genocide, and every character…

  • Don't Worry Darling

    Don't Worry Darling

    ★★★½

    It’s a shame this film sounds like such a car crash behind the scenes because I thought Don’t Worry Darling was actually quite good! I have a few hang ups and I think there’s a fairly glaring plot hole related to the ending, but Florence Pugh is on another level, utterly captivating all the way. Visually delightful too, with an impressively executed reveal.

  • The Woman King

    The Woman King

    ★★★½

    I really wanted to love The Woman King. There’s a lot to like here in the performances (Davis, Lynch (MVP), Atim, Mbedu are terrific) and some very impressive action, it suffers from pacing issues and an all-too-cliche-ridden plot that block it from becoming truly great.

  • Bodies Bodies Bodies

    Bodies Bodies Bodies

    ★★★★

    Bodies Bodies Bodies is the best film I’ve seen in a good while! Really sharp script with characters that are deliberately vapid while somehow also having depth, and it’s a wildly creative, tense, fun murder mystery to dive into. Rachel Sennott is the MVP in a great cast.

  • Clerks

    Clerks

    ★★★

    Quite a fun little day in the life that falls a little foul of the old “no one talks like that” problem when it comes to its screenplay, but it’s a fun, chilled out time.

  • DodgeBall: A True Underdog Story

    DodgeBall: A True Underdog Story

    ★★★★

    Comedy gold, even after all this time

  • Pinocchio

    Pinocchio

    Pinocchi-yes, this is as bad as you’ve heard

  • See How They Run

    See How They Run

    ★★½

    See How They Run isn’t as clever as it thinks it is. Try as she might, even the joyous presence of Saoirse Ronan can’t save it. Despite a couple of funny lines and visual jokes, this just made me wish I was was watching Knives Out again. Doubt I’ll remember it by next week.

  • Fall

    Fall

    I can forgive dumb moments, I can allow suspension of disbelief, but when 8 different dumb moments needing said suspension of disbelief are all in competition for which moment is the dumbest, my patience runs thin. Bad dialogue and soap opera performances kill this one further. 2 stars for how fun and tense the first 40 minutes were, the next hour was painful.