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  • The Thing

    The Thing

    ★★★★★

    "First goddamn week of winter."

    The Thing is an absolute masterpiece; the perfect horror film. A genuinely terrifying, claustrophobic, nail-bitingly intense experience with a killer score. The 100% practical special effects are extremely well done and still hold up 30 years later. And there are beards. Many, many beards.

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  • WolfCop

    WolfCop

    ★★

    I was nowhere near drunk enough to have watched this.

  • Escape Room

    Escape Room

    ★★★

    "When the horse wins the Kentucky derby it doesn't win a prize."

    Surprisingly creative and enjoyable, but the last 20 minutes are tiring as all hell. It's like they couldn't decide how to end it so they shot several different ones and showed them all, one after the other. Then thought they might want to make a sequel and shot another one.

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  • Dead Silence

    Dead Silence

    ★½

    "Now who's the dummy?"

    Apparently me for watching this pile of shit.

  • The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor

    The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor

    ½

    "Here we go again..."

    Who needs Rachel Weisz? Who needs decent special effects? Who needs an engaging plot? Hell, who even needs a fucking mummy?!

    This did. Desperately.