• Cry Macho

    Cry Macho

    ★★½

    I almost feel guilty for rating this this low. Surprisingly, 91 year old Clint Eastwood gives the best performance in this movie. Everyone else… well let’s just say every scene has its own unique flaws. Still glad I watched this, I can sense an Eastwood bender coming on. 

    Plot: 3/5
    Visuals: 3/5
    Acting: 2/5

  • Vampyr

    Vampyr

    ★★★½

    More ambitious and surreal than Dracula or Nosferatu, it also feels a bit less timeless for that very reason. I certainly appreciate what they went for here, but it definitely feels a bit more dated than other classic horror films from this era. Still gorgeous and entertaining. 

    Plot: 3/5
    Visuals: 4/5
    Acting: 3/5

    Vampire Horror

  • The Scooby-Doo Project

    The Scooby-Doo Project

    ★★

    I think I actually vaguely remember seeing this as a kid and being pretty god damn scared. Obviously I hadn’t seen The Blair Witch project as a six year old so I was definitely confused about what the fuck was going on. I “get it” now, but I’m still not sure why this was made. Doesn’t really seem like it makes sense for kids OR adult horror fans.

    Plot: 2/5
    Visuals: 3/5
    Voice Acting: 2/5

  • Brotherhood of the Wolf

    Brotherhood of the Wolf

    ★★★★½

    Talk about a fuckin sleeper hit. Although this isn’t technically a werewolf movie, it very intentionally has all the trappings of one. And it delivers everything I want. The plot reminded me quite a bit of Sleepy Hollow which is of course a great thing. On top of that, it’s a PERIOD PIECE which I am an absolute sucker for. My only real complaint is that the martial arts-style action sequences seem weirdly out of place, as do all the slow motion shots. Other than that, this was an absolute joy to watch. 

    Plot: 5/5
    Visuals: 4/5
    Acting: 5/5

    Folk Horror

  • On Any Sunday

    On Any Sunday

    ★★★½

    They don’t make ‘em like Steve McQueen anymore.

  • A Twist of the Wrist II

    A Twist of the Wrist II

    ★★★

    Dated and a little corny, not to mention I don’t even ride a sport bike, but this is still very clearly a wealth of information.

  • Black Death

    Black Death

    ★★★★

    It’s been years since I watched this and I’m thrilled to see it holds up. I’m actually a bit surprised at how low the average rating is; I’m having a tough time identifying what’s so horrible about it. None of the acting is terrible, it’s dark and moody but still has some cool action sequences, and it’s filled to the brim with sick one liners. 

    Plot: 5/5
    Visuals: 4/5
    Acting: 4/5

    Folk Horror

  • Werewolf Women of the S.S.

    Werewolf Women of the S.S.

    ★★★★

    I lack the words to adequately express how much I would watch the fuck out of this.

  • Dracula

    Dracula

    ★★★★½

    Can someone connect me with a barber who can do that to my hair?

    Plot: 5/5
    Visuals: 4/5
    Acting: 4/5

    Vampire Horror

  • The Road to Dracula

    The Road to Dracula

    ★★★½

    Solid documentary, learned a lot about the history of the various productions of Dracula.

  • Dracula

    Dracula

    ★★★★★

    Maybe it’s pretentious of me (it is), but I do genuinely think this is a perfect movie. Browning’s Dracula is strangely timeless - the black and white cinematography coupled with the nascent, unpolished sound design perfectly encapsulates the vampire ethos in a way that modern movies really can’t. Not to mention, it’s short as all hell which makes it eminently watchable. 

    It pains me to say it, but I may finally like this more than Nosferatu. 

    Also, I should note that I watched this with the Kostika Çollaku soundtrack which was a really fitting addition. 

    Plot: 5/5
    Visuals: 5/5
    Acting: 5/5

    Vampire Horror

  • Fencing

    Fencing

    ★★

    Catch me touching swords with my bro in a straight way.