Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again ★★

Dear god, what a mess. Even though the original wasn't really objectively good either, it has this kind of oddly charming appeal that the sequel totally lacks. In Here We Go Again, the dialogue is 10x more cheesy and absurd (every dramatic moment had me CACKLING), the choreography and singing are 10x more ridiculous (they butchered sooooo many ABBA songs, even the ones they recycled from the first), the plotting is 10x more nonsensical (a lot of unresolved, unnecessary subplots), and the aesthetics are 10x more nauseating (seriously, the person who did post-production should've been fired for fabricating the worst cinematic rainstorm). At least, Pierce Brosnan doesn't sing as much this time. Lily James was radiant and her singing was actually pretty decent, but her acting...I can't. The only saving graces in the sequel were Christine Baranski (delivers yet another phenomenal high kick), Julie Walters (witty and delightful AF), the two actresses who play the younger versions of their characters, Colin Firth's dance moves, and the REAL star of the show Cher. Honestly, if they edited this movie to just her scenes, it would be basically a perfect film. Her rendition of "Fernando" had me in tears.

I wish I could say that I enjoyed the movie as a whole because I love escapist fantasy movies and we need more of those these days in mainstream cinema, but I don't think I've cringed or rolled my eyes this frequently in a long time and I don't intend on seeing this again unless if I were in an altered state of consciousness.

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