Favorite films

  • The Tree of Life
  • Mulholland Drive
  • Badlands
  • Synecdoche, New York

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All
  • You People

    ★½

  • Sick

    ★★★½

  • Whiplash

    ★★★★½

  • Gremlins 2: The New Batch

    ★★★½

Recent reviews

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  • You People

    You People

    ★½

    Corny, sanctimonious bullshit written by an AI fed exclusively on rage-bait Tweets from 2016–2018 about racial politics in America. Nobody speaks like a real person, none of the jokes land, and the central relationship is about as believable as Rachel Dolezal’s entire existence. The Drake segment in particular illustrates everything wrong with the mid-budget studio comedy today. Like, remember when we made actual jokes instead of reeling off countless meta pop culture references? Sigh. Deeply embarrassing for everyone involved.

  • Sick

    Sick

    ★★★½

    A lean, mean little slasher featuring some gnarly kills and a kinetic cat-and-mouse chase sequence that goes on for the best part of an hour. Kevin Williamson's influence is very much present throughout, meaning the characters aren't just running around the house – they're smashing through walls, tumbling down stairs, and tearing the place to shreds in an all-out bid for survival. I could take or leave the Covid framework, but I'll always appreciate a slasher that knows what it…

Popular reviews

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  • The Fly

    The Fly

    ★★★★

    Would’ve been a 10 if Goldblum had rubbed his little hands together like a fly.

  • M3GAN

    M3GAN

    ★★½

    Losing my mind over the line about M3GAN – a humanoid robot who can do literally anything – being manufactured for less than a Tesla. Elon Musk found dead in a ditch iktr!!!