The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 2

The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 2 β˜…β˜…Β½

πŸ’œ My girlfriend's rating: ⭐️ 3/5 ⭐️ πŸ’œ

God, am I ever so thankful for finally finishing out this dreadful series. They may have been fun/funny in the most extremely ironic senses, but don't expect me to ever put myself through these again. If I wanted movies about vampires, I could do a lot better. If I wanted movies about teenage drama, I could do a lot better there too.

Bella is the biggest dope, and not the fun kind either. The fact that she ACTUALLY named her child RENESMEE and didn't punt it across the screen for having that hideously underdeveloped CGI face (that creepily didn't move at times) tells a lot about what's going on between her ears. Lest we forget the Cullens end up teaching her how to be a human again, when she was one for 18 years. I don't think vampirism causes memory loss, considering every other member of the family knows exactly what their life was like before the transition.

Part of me wants to simultaneously give this movie 0.5 AND a 2.5 for the way it proudly stuck up its middle finger at the entire audience during the last ten minutes. We're given a glimpse into something great. A werewolf and vampire grand battle, with heavy losses on both sides. I audibly said the words "oh s**t" when the movie fooled me into believing a pretty major character just got axed. But of course, we can't have REAL consequences, what do you think this is?? Giving the unwilling participant boyfriends who no doubt got dragged to the theater just a slight taste of carnage is nice, except when you go "TA-DA! LIKE MAGIC, IT DISAPPEARED!"

Because of that scene alone (no matter how falsified it ended up being) I raised the rating. I'm so generous. Because of that scene alone, it ends up being the best out of the franchise. Don't take that to mean you should start it up, because absolutely not. Not even for Halloween. Save yourselves, I took the bullet for you guys.

You owe me.

Just kidding.

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