The Lighthouse

The Lighthouse ★★★★★

441.2 kilometers.

That’s how far I had to drive this weekend to see this goddamn movie because you lot just would not shut up about it. 

And yeah, OK, it was everything you promised it would be - best of the year and all that - but that’s a long fucking haul, gang. Halfway across a bloody island. Hell, the gas alone was sixty clams! 

You know what I’d love? I’d love it if just once, you guys would get excited about one of these blockbuster sequels or CG kids movies that always seem to land at the shithole local cinema. What’s the word on Arctic Dogs? I see that’s playing on three of the five screens right here in town. Must be good, eh? I’ve already seen the Maleficent and Terminator sequels, so that’s really my only option.

Tell me it’s good. Please. Tell me you loved it.

For the love of god, please tell me it’s the must-see movie of the year so I don’t have to drive another six hours to see this Jojo-fucking-Rabbit thing everybody’s raving about!

Please.

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