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  • John Wick

    John Wick

    ★★★★½

    Graceful and balletic in its simplicity, going from A-to-B-to-C economically yet stylish and artful in its execution, without pretension.

  • Short Circuit

    Short Circuit

    ★★½

    Yeah...this is definitely a not-great kids movie. It is really well produced, though, and Number 5 is a pretty great special effect. Its relationship with Sheedy's character has shades of ickiness which might just be a product of 80s oddness. Fisher Steven's performance is unforgivable, though. It's not as good as many of the films it inspired, from The Iron Giant to WALL-E and much more in between. But, at least it's not as bad as Chappy.

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  • Return to Oz

    Return to Oz

    ★★★★★

    I know I've seen this movie before, but I honestly don't remember anything from it other than the clockwork soldier.

    That said, I'm almost positive my brain blocked out the rest of this film because it is definitely one of the most disturbing and terrifying "kids film" ever released. It's easy to see why this film flopped so hard at the box office; it's almost the polar opposite of the beloved classic THE WIZARD OF OZ.

    Whereas THE WIZARD OF…

  • The Wolf of Wall Street

    The Wolf of Wall Street

    ★★★★★

    As Leo was doing a pep talk to his employees, I thought to myself, "he's like a profane Coach Taylor." Smart of Marty to cast Coach Taylor as the guy to bring him down, then in this bulldozer-made-out-of-diamond-and-ivory, driven-by-beautiful, large-breasteded-woman-eating-the-highest-price-cheesecake-from-The Cheesecake-Factory-topped-with-those-gold-flakes-that-one-place-served-while-blaring-"Stairway To Heaven"-and-curing-AIDS of a movie.

    [as "Everlong" by the Foo Fighters plays in the background] "It was fucking heaven."

    [sidenote: I almost punched a dude because I heard him say, as we were leaving the theater, "I thought American Hustle was a lot better."]