• No Hard Feelings

    No Hard Feelings


    "doesn't anyone fuck anymore?"

    gets an extra half star just for andrew barth feldman singing maneater. comedy is back babey!

  • The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones

    The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones


    i watched this for deeply embarrassing reasons upon which i will not elaborate but honestly had so much fun? this would be my 13 year old self’s favorite movie. this must be what they call “healing your inner child” or whatever.

  • Upgrade



    basically just like. robot venom? the main guy even looks like tom hardy!

  • The Worst Person in the World

    The Worst Person in the World


    “i’m sure i remember things about you that you’ve forgotten…when i’m gone, all that stuff about you will go with me.”

    was genuinely deeply moved by so much of this film’s approach to relationships, loss, and indecision. could really have done without all the Commentary about the Internet and Cancel Culture and Today’s Society, though!

  • Drag Me to Hell

    Drag Me to Hell


    sam raimi you absolute fucking freak <3 <3 <3

  • Scream 4

    Scream 4


    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    texted my friend “wow some next level stupidity on display in the opening scene for this one” and then realized it was a fake out 30 seconds later 🤡 you got me wes!

  • Scream 3

    Scream 3


    “just tell me what you want, i can make it happen! any picture, name your budget, script approval, final cut!”
    “i already have it.”

  • The Killer
  • Scream 2

    Scream 2


    truly losing my mind over this movie’s depiction of a film theory class…which theorist was it who said aliens is better than alien, was that arnheim?

  • Pearl



    breaks my heart to disagree with martin scorsese but it’s gonna have to be a no from me!

  • Scream



    apparently “skipping 4 entire movies in a series is insane” so going to do some catching up (just maybe in slightly backwards order)

  • American Gigolo

    American Gigolo


    “i’m not ‘from’ anywhere. i’m from this bed.”