Freddy vs. Jason

Freddy vs. Jason ★★½

I absolutely hated this when it first came out, to the point that I refused to talk about it with anyone and never watched it a second time until just now. I didn't have anything against Freddy, but always saw Jason as the superior killer, and any story that dared challenge the absolute truth of my Voorhees universe obviously didn't know what it was talking about. Cut to nearly two decades later combined with the determination to sit through it no matter what and... I kind of enjoyed it. It's still super dumb, it's still fucking absolute trash and it's absolutely riddled with shitty, dated cgi. But it's also kind of neat.

There's a lot I don't like about the film but I don't really feel like getting into that, so here are some things I did like about it:

+ Freddy's plan to make himself relevant, and therefore powerful, again, was actually pretty neat. I liked the underlying story to this.
+ Jason will do anything for his mom, including come back from obliteration after one little dreamtime pep talk. What a good boy.
+ Some of the practical effects are pretty cool and there's a lot of goopy blood.
+ The WORST people get absolutely wrecked by Jason and we don't have to wait long to see it happen. You know his machete is super dull after all that hack and slash too so it had to hurt extra.
+ Jason totally kill steals from Freddy lololol. He was so mad.
+ That big shout out to Dream Warriors.
+ Bitches hiding in lockers from killers. What is this, Dead by Daylight? That worked out about as well in the film as it does in the game lolll.
+ At one point Jason has everclear thrown on him and he's set on fire, and Jason just calmly unsheathes his machete and begins stalking the offending dbag through a cornfield. That whole scene I'm sitting here like this, thinking how sweet and considerate it is of him to make popcorn for me to enjoy during the absolute murder fest I'm about to see.
+ The look on Freddy's face when he both realizes he's not in Kansas anymore and that big boi Voorhees is right behind him lololol.

God this movie is so dumb, but clearly I didn't care.

Teen Horror

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