• Robots

    Robots

    ★★★

    Fender is canon trans :)

  • Coco

    Coco

    ★★★★

    I was so close to getting through this Pixar marathon without crying once. SO CLOSE. Fuck this movie. It's too amazing.

  • Finding Dory

    Finding Dory

    ★★★½

    This is easily the best non-Toy Story Pixar sequel but y'all aren't ready for that conversation

  • Lava

    Lava

    ★★★★

    Those two volcanoes banged and gave birth to Te Fiti. This was all a prequel to Moana

  • Cars 2

    Cars 2

    I take back every mean thing I ever said about Shrek the Third. And The Good Dinosaur. And Turbo. And MINIONS. Fuck you John Lasseter

  • WALL·E

    WALL·E

    ★★★★½

    Bold of Disney to finance and release a movie about a megacorporation that destroys the Earth

  • Cars

    Cars

    ★★½

    In my junior year of high school we had to watch this movie in health class and write a paper on Lightning McQueen's character growth and how he forms healthy relationships with the people around him over the course of the movie. So that was fun

  • Once

    Once

    ★★★

    I'm definitely missing something here cause this didn't work very well for me at all. It leaves a terrible first impression with the cinematography at the beginning, but that aspect improves as the film goes along (even if the flat lighting doesn't). The bigger issue for me is how the script feels entirely barebones, rendering the story and romance very basic and unengaging. I don't feel a particularly strong connection between the main characters and I don't feel like I…

  • Being John Malkovich

    Being John Malkovich

    ★★★½

    Honestly fuck Maxine, Lotte deserves so much better

  • I'm Thinking of Ending Things

    I'm Thinking of Ending Things

    ★★★★★

    Every single line of dialogue in this movie is entirely deliberate, a piece of an exceedingly intricate puzzle that you slowly start to piece together over the course of the film's runtime. Shockingly, at no point does it become tedious, repetitive, or boring. It's a genuine thrill to see how even the most mundane conversation can be warped into something far more important and meaningful over time.

    I can't even begin to process how deeply this movie affected me. I…

  • Mulan

    Mulan

    ½

    Fucking worthless. It strips the original film of nearly everything that made it special, but forgets to add anything worthwhile as a substitute. It is inferior to the original in literally every respect. If that's not enough, it also contains the most fucking abysmal editing I've ever seen in a major motion picture. I'm baffled that Disney considered this theater-worthy for the longest time, and doubly insulted that they have the gall to charge $30 for such an irredeemably awful pile of garbage. A new low for the Disney live-action remakes.

    But at least it's better than Artemis Fowl.

  • Almost Famous

    Almost Famous

    ★★★★½

    "Rock stars have kidnapped my son."

    Not just a highly entertaining movie, but a visceral, palpable experience. A movie that feels entirely authentic in spite of its larger-than-life characters. A real treat of a film that I can't wait to see again.