Armageddon ★½

If this movie wasn't so dumb, I would be more offended at how casually misogynist and anti-intellectual it is. I'm actually more offended at the fact that it's part of the Criterion Collection. How?!?

It's way too long, it's hard for me to root for characters so stupid, and Ben Affleck's cry face will never not make me laugh. Ditto with that image near the end of the kids running with American flags by a mural of JFK. This movie definitely doesn't do subtlety very well (this IS Michael Bay we're talking about), and for me anyway, doesn't even have the Independence Day factor of being entertaining.

Also, what tremendous wastes of Keith David and Jason Isaacs.