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  • Aquaman

    Aquaman

    ★½

    you assholes tricked me into watching this dumb movie where a sexy man smells his armpits underwater because they somehow stink and somehow he does too. i’m saltier than the ocean about this shit, man. You will feel the wrath of OceanMaster my dude

  • Cadillac Man

    Cadillac Man

    ★★★★

    This movie is crazy and is close to being very layered and smart but the dragging 2nd half makes it feel more unironic than the first act suggests. Regardless I laughed very hard

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  • Hellboy

    Hellboy

    I’d rather go to hell than watch this movie again and I’ll close my eyes when or if it ever cross paths with me, but I’d also take a nap on David Harbour’s bicep

  • Shooter

    Shooter

    ★★★½

    This movie was far more fun than it had any right to be. Mark Wahlberg has a ponytail and is named Bob Swagger. Michael Peña is in it. Kate Mara is in it. Have you started it on Netflix yet? I thought you might've.