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  • The Black Cat

    The Black Cat

    ★★★★★

    You should always trust the dreams you have during a psychic bubble witch movie set apocalypse. These colors don't run, except they do. Green scuzzfuck witch slime from mouth to mouth, open wide and eat my witch puke. Levana's murder set pieces in rainbow black darklight. Let me tell you about baby. Baby is perfectly sedate. baby knows it's fate. My baby is a witch boy. Actress, Model, Dancer - these are the desired occupations of a sleeping witch, of a third mother. And with more glowy maternal confusion, a trilogy is closed. Fuck the Mother of Tears. Cozzi got it a right.

  • Messiah of Evil

    Messiah of Evil

    ★★★★½

    Velvet Vampire goes Pop Shopping. Too drunk on red vodka cocktails to know it's a zombie movie. What's a zombie movie? figures in the landscape, where the beach is one endless oil painting and Dad's paint cool murals all over the beach house walls. This movie is made out of cinnabar and jade women who shop at supermarkets during the Anti-Christ apocalypse. Dawn of the Dead walking along the beach at night, holding hands with Jean Rollin.

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  • Goosed

    Goosed

    ★½

    🔠: G

    Super not into it. From the era of endless terrible romcoms. Jennifer Tilly is one of those actresses that I generally enjoy even if the movie isn't good but this was hard to watch. GOOSED hasn't made her less cute but the character is irritating and man-obsessed. The cast is great but no good is done with them. Not hard to see why this has been all but forgotten.

  • Gate II

    Gate II

    ★★★★½

    🔠: G

    I was a Teenage Dungeonmaster. Interdimensional demon dialing Teen Pam Adlon hypnotized by darkness. Blacc circle boyz summoning minions unleashing devil hellscape lampstyle genie wishes only evil and and eventually becoming feces. Very much gooey transfigurations. Deep into it's own wizardness. The most trollsome black magick Virgin sacrifice at doomgoblin towers in satan's glow-hole. A holographic experience of heart, mind + body.

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  • Baby Driver

    Baby Driver

    I did one teeny tiny measly little wrap day in wardrobe for this movie, so I won't rate it. I did love it and I'm very proud. As a result of this I met Jon Hamm at my friend's birthday party which took place at a skating rink and our interaction was as follows...

    I went to the snack bar, Hamm rolls up. We had briefly met earlier.

    Jon:...... Did ya get a corndog?

    Me: Yeah...

    Jon: Niiiiiiice

    There may have been more but that's all I was able to process.

  • Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown

    Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown

    ★★★★★

    This was my introduction to Almodovar and is my forever favorite.

    When I first saw this film I would soon be entering the last echelon of my marriage. I didn't know it at the time but soon he would cheat, and I would catch him. I would have what I later realized was a nervous breakdown, and I would quit my job, digging us even deeper into poverty. I would lose forty pounds because I couldn't afford drugs or alcohol…