Sean Avery

Parody account. Don't take anything I say on here seriously.

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  • The Lighthouse

    The Lighthouse

    ½

    Where are the jumpscares? I thought this is a horror film? Why was Robert Pattinson masturbating? Is he trying to pull a Miley Cyrus with his career? Fuck this pretentious garbage! I can't believe this has a higher rating than Black Panther! Bullshit!

  • Ricky Gervais: Humanity

    Ricky Gervais: Humanity

    ½

    Fuck this transphobic pig Ricky Gervais! How dare he say such things as "Caitlyn Jenner was once Bruce Jenner!" I'm literally shaking right now! I need to go complain about this on Twitter with my blue checkmark journalist account while eating three slices of double chocolate cake in one sitting! I hate my life! 😞

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  • D3: The Mighty Ducks

    D3: The Mighty Ducks

    ★★★★★

    Now THAT'S how you straighten a team of bitches up! Great coaching! I'm sure he borrowed some of his methods from what Toronto Maple Leafs legend Mike Babcock did to Mitch Marner and William Nylander! Other teams should take notes!

  • Top Gun: Maverick

    Top Gun: Maverick

    ★★★★★

    I watched this Top Gun trailer... 200 times today. 200 TIMES. You couldn't get me more excited about a movie. TOM FUCKING CRUISE. OH. WOW.

    Now, I didn't have the luxury of auditioning for that wonderful movie- sir, do you need to really be biking through the park while I'm doing a Top Gun review, please?

    But I did audition for the CW's new show Batwoman. FUCKING KILLED IT. Maybe that should be my new method. Just tell all my…