• Deep Red

    Deep Red

    ★★★★½

    STRESS RATING: 💥💥💥💥 ½
    Incredibly unsettling, and that’s even with the hella groovy Goblin score. Just as good at building tension as it is relieving it — but only after some truly brutal kill scenes, of course. 

    Personal Rating: 9
    Aesthetically, this is probably the best horror movie I’ve ever seen (as of October 19th, 2020, at least). Perfect visuals, perfect sound, perfect score. Up there with some of the best cinematography I’ve seen, too. What really stops it from…

  • Before Sunrise

    Before Sunrise

    ★★★★½

    STRESS RATING: 🌀🌀🌀 
    An incredibly pleasurable watch that slowly unravels your heart until its just open enough to be pricked. You know it can't end in resolution, but you still somehow trick yourself into not being stressed about it the whole time.

    Personal Rating: 9.5
    Not giving this a perfect score on the off-chance that the other two films in this series are even better. It's a steep ask, though — Before Sunrise was already pretty fantastic. I finished the…

  • An American Werewolf in London

    An American Werewolf in London

    ★★★★

    STRESS RATING: 💥💥💥💥
    Not super scary, though this is due to the overall tone rather than the movie’s quality. That one transformation sequence is fucking nasty, too. 

    Personal Rating: 8
    Honestly, I can’t imagine a werewolf movie any better than this (unless it was made by Robert Eggers, however I feel that way for all movie monsters). Werewolves as a whole seem kinda lame when you think about them, as it’s really just a regular guy who’s a monster for…

  • Cowboy Bebop: The Movie

    Cowboy Bebop: The Movie

    ★★★★½

    STRESS RATING: 🌀🌀🌀 ½
    Same rating as the show. There’s also the fact that there are no repercussions of the events that take place considering where it fits into the canon, so that takes away some stakes & stress too. 

    Personal Rating: 9
    A great companion piece to an already fantastic show, Cowboy Bebop: The Movie is just as good as I hoped it would be. I mean, if anything it’s an additional two hours with the beloved main cast, and that makes…

  • Cowboy Bebop

    Cowboy Bebop

    ★★★★★

    STRESS RATING: 🌀🌀🌀 ½
    All television shows are inherently more stressful than movies due to the amount of emotional investment you put in them, so its kind of hard for me to rate this. There's a lot of action, a lot of fun, and even a good handful of heartfelt moments. Cowboy Bebop juggles it all, and does every one of them with exquisite grace and style.

    Personal Rating: 10
    Ok soooooo I just finished this. Best characters, music, and…

  • Scary Godmother: Halloween Spooktakular

    Scary Godmother: Halloween Spooktakular

    ★★★

    STRESS RATING: 🌸
    The ultimate feel-good Halloween movie. Nothing but smiles, chuckles, and vibes bro. Scary Godmother is my queen, btw. 

    Personal Rating: 6.5
    When I was a lot younger, I was a Cartoon Network-obsessive, to the point where it was basically the only channel I watched on TV... until October rolled around. It was easy to avoid the Goosebumps-type of programs that would spring up, but less so were the ads for them, and back then they were more…

  • Hubie Halloween

    Hubie Halloween

    ★★½

    STRESS RATING: 🧸🧸
    Just good fun. Not calming in any way, but if you’re getting stress over an Adam Sandler plot, then maybe seek help. 

    Personal Rating: 5
    Hubie Halloween is a film that defies rating. So many aspects of its filmmaking are terrible, yet it still somehow manages to rise above its poor quality to actually be pretty entertaining? Like, half of my laughs were just out of Adam Sandler saying something like “Do you want some soup” rather…

  • Mission: Impossible - Fallout

    Mission: Impossible - Fallout

    ★★★★½

    STRESS RATING: 💥💥💥💥 ½
    Prepare for some racked nerves, because Tom Cruise goes all-fucking-out in this. As stressful as it is cool, and this movie is hella cool. 

    Personal Rating: 9
    Finally done catching up on the Mission: Impossible franchise (until they release new movies, of course). Thankfully, this most recent entry is undoubtedly the best of the bunch, and honestly I don’t think this formula can be done any better. The reveals are crazier, the action is grander, and the…

  • A Nightmare on Elm Street

    A Nightmare on Elm Street

    ★★★★

    STRESS RATING: 💥💥💥💥
    The concept of a killer who lived in nightmares was probably terrifying at the time this was made, but thankfully this won’t be keeping me up at night. Still pretty scary, though. 

    Personal Rating: 8
    Who would’ve thought I’d one day be able to watch horror movies before bed and be (reasonably) okay? Certainly not me. My growth as a human aside, I actually had a pretty good time with A Nightmare on Elm Street. I’ve always had…

  • Ran

    Ran

    ★★★★½

    STRESS RATING: 🌀🌀🌀 ½
    For a war movie who’s name translates to chaos, it’s actually not all that tense. Almost too beautiful to be properly stressful. 

    Personal Rating: 9.5
    Am I making my way through Akira Kurosawa’s filmography completely backwards? Probably. Do I care. Not at all! Though this was Kurosawa’s final epic, this was my first, and after watching, I know for sure it won’t be my last. I love these kinds of sprawling movies and stories, and the…

  • Merrily We Roll Along

    Merrily We Roll Along

    ★★★★

    STRESS RATING: 🌀🌀🌀
    How does watching lives fall apart in reverse affect stress? Well, it means the second act is a lot tamer than the first, and that the musical also has the most bittersweet ending you’ll ever see. 

    Personal Rating: 8.5
    So like, anytime I watch a proshot or bootleg of a musical, it’s usually after I’ve listened to the cast recording for a week. This time around, I figured I’d try a more recent version of the musical…

  • Ocean Waves

    Ocean Waves

    ★★★

    STRESS RATING: 🧸🧸 ½
    Without dialogue this could probably be a really comforting movie. With dialogue, its just barely below average on stress. Make of that what you will, I guess.

    Personal Rating: 6.5
    As my journey through the Studio Ghibli catalogue comes to it's close (I think all I have to watch now is The Red Turtle), I feel... melancholic, I guess. Funnily enough, Ocean Waves actually does kind of capture that kind of feeling, with the added emotions…