Favorite films

  • Fight Club
  • Parasite
  • Donnie Darko
  • Swiss Army Man

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  • The Power of the Dog

    ★★★½

  • Encanto

    ★★½

  • Licorice Pizza

    ★★★★

  • The Matrix Resurrections

    ★★½

Recent reviews

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  • Spider-Man: No Way Home

    Spider-Man: No Way Home

    ★★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    What a time to be a cinephile and MCU fan alike! When Andrew Garfield showed up with no pants on and his penis was so long and skinny and then he took The Lizard to Time Square to showed him the M&M store but his penis kept dragging on the asphalt and The Lizard kept stepping on his penis and his claws were so pointy that they made tiny perforations in the foreskin but Andrew was so used it after…

  • The Green Knight

    The Green Knight

    ★★★½

    Beautiful. Subtle. Epic. Poised. Intentional. Grandiose. Meticulous. I had also run 8 miles, eaten a Mediterranean bowl, and been presented my ex-wife’s Tik Tok on my For You page out of nowhere right before this so I felt sick to my stomach most of the movie. Naked giants.