Uncut Gems

Uncut Gems ★★★★★

Thinking about all the alternative choices the Safdie’s had to KG in this movie and here’s how I think it would have gone.

A’mare Stoudamire: It’s probably 20% worse, but it’s also at least 50% more Jewish which is a worthy trade off. 

Kobe Bryant: The only alternative where it’s maybe more intense, but it’s also way less funny. Probably overall way too miserable without the comedy. Holds a much different cultural footprint given what happened less than a month after its release. 

Joel Embiid: This movie would be way funnier, which is saying a lot for an already hilarious movie. It probably makes Embiid a larger cultural figure and perhaps he’s next inline for the face of the league after this. Though it also provides ready to go ammo whenever Joel flames out every summer. 

Anywho, it’s best we got the movie we got because as it is it’s probably the movie with the largest cultural footprint of the past five years. See: Julia Fox and Kanye West, Sandler-ssance, NBA Twitter🤝Film Twitter, The Weeknd acting, the 50 screen grabs from this that apply to any situation, sports betting, and like 10 other things. This is how I win.

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