Star Wars: The Last Jedi

Star Wars: The Last Jedi ★½

I put off watching this for so long because I kinda knew I would hate it. I love the original trilogy (anyone who says they are bad are either liars or lame people) and for me Luke was my childhood hero. I was iffy on TFA and didn't like Rogue One or Solo and when this came out I heard such mixed things. Non-Star Wars fans say its the best ever, Disney fans say its the best ever, and actual Star Wars fans say it was horrible. So I avoided it until someone last night convinced me to check it out just for the Luke and Rey stuff. I didn't like this but not as bad as I thought I would.

I'm going to divide this review into sections because of the way this movie is structured. I'll be talking about my favourite parts first and making my way to the parts I hated.

Favourite sub-plot (BY FAR) is chewie with the Porgs. Every moment of that was fun and felt like classic Star Wars.

Next up is Luke, Rey, and Kylo. These scenes borrow some themes from the original trilogy and for the most part they worked. Unlike a lot of the Star Wars fans, I like the subversion stuff with Snoke and Rey's parents. I like some of the training scenes with Luke and Rey. The moment with Luke and Yoda felt a little off, but mostly it was kinda neat. Rey and Kylo's force skype moments were also kinda interesting. The throne room scene is mostly great except for one really ill-timed "joke". I didn't like Luke milking the monster's extremely human looking boobs. The stuff with Rey pissing off the Caretakers was also lame. Oh yeah and Daisy's performance overall is pretty bad.

Next up, the ending climax is pretty okay. I'll say now that this movie is a little too long in my opinion, and I had kinda lost attention by this point, but the stuff with Rey in the falcon is solid. The whole showdown with Luke and Kylo is actually kinda cool I think. That whole stupid scene of like Poe, Finn, and Rose in those weird speeder bikes was so stupid. It didn't feel like a battle and it was weird how they kept getting picked off one by one until Poe calls off the attack and then the enemy just stops shooting at them. Rose stopping Finn from sacrificing himself is also kinda lame.

Here's where we get to negatives. Finn and Rose's little adventures. I think the casino planet is a neat idea and there are moments during these scenes that I was on board with. The whole concept of being surrounded by rich people who got rich from selling arms to the first order is a cool little moral dilemma. The whole animal abuse angle is... kinda stupid and feels a little forced. Feels a little out of place in this movie. My biggest problems with these scenes is that they feel like something out of the prequels. Lots of dumb humour and an overabundance of cgi. I didn't hate Rose, but didn't love her either.

I really didn't like the slow speed chase subplot of this movie. I feel like the rebel leadership makes so many dumb choices during these segments and leading up to this chase. Holdo really annoyed me because she could have easily stopped the whole drama with Poe by either telling him the plan, or locking him in the brig. Why didn't she tell him the plan? I thought there was going to be a twist where the reason they were tracked through hyperspace is because there was a traitor on board so Holdo and Leia kept their plans a secret. But that never happened. She just didn't tell him because she was power tripping I guess but not power-tripping enough to have him locked up. These scenes feel like a really boring Star Trek episode. Also the hyperspace suicide jump destroying half the fleet was really dumb and cheap.

By far the worst part of this movie is the beginning. I think the prank call is an extremely lame way to start a Star Wars movie. Then there's this whole Poe plan where he single-handedly takes on a dreadnought and doesn't instantly get blown to smithereens. Then the bombers show up and they're big and useless and they all get destroyed and Leia acts like that's Poe's fault. It's really dumb and it doesn't accomplish anything. Then the bridge gets blown up and Leia flies through space (uhhh okay lol) and then Admiral Ackbar is killed off screen. I've never felt more turned off by the beginning of a movie.

Overall... I'm really torn on this. I like some of the big picture stuff about this movie and when I hear the haters rail against it, I kinda disagree with most of what they say... but I also really hated most of this movie! I felt it was long and tedious. I hated all of the attempts at humour (except chewie and the porgs). I was constantly getting mad by dumb lines and character decisions. I felt the action was kinda lacking. It's like a 2 and a half hour long Disney space opera. Seeing this has reaffirmed that the Star Wars franchise is no longer for me. I'll stick with the original trilogy and just pretend the rest doesn't exist.

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