“Every single aspect about making movies is a giant pain in the ass, and it’s never worth it.” -Jay Bauman

Favorite films

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Recent reviews

  • Bloodshot



    I dunno maybe next time we don't let the video game cutscene guy direct an actual movie.

  • Monster Hunter

    Monster Hunter


    If there's one thing Paul Not-Thomas Anderson is known for it's his brand of relentless stupidity. Milla and Tony make for an odd on-screen couple but it kinda works since they barely talk to each other, except when they orgasm over a hershey's chocolate bar. It's got that made for China sheen but I guarantee it will entertain for 90 brisk dumb minutes.

Popular reviews

  • Doom: Annihilation

    Doom: Annihilation

    So nice of id software to let a bunch of kids make a Youtube fan film, can't wait to see the real movie!

    ...Wait, that was the movie? Oh no...oh fuck.

  • Ip Man 4: The Finale

    Ip Man 4: The Finale

    Racist white people be like “this is my black panther 😍” but for real the racism is off the charts here. Felt like I was back in a Modern Warfare 2 Xbox chat lobby. Pretty sure this film is going to set race relations between America and China back 50 years. The fights manage to get better with each Ip Man movie and this is no exception. They keep crawling closer into magical realism and every punch sounds like they…