Beauty and the Beast ★★★


I can't really hate this. The sets are so, so pretty, with creamy costuming peppering vivid colors across large, overpowering spaces and theatrical stages where the drama and romance play out. All of the actors are just the right amount of committed, pushing the musical numbers (which are still lovely) to their limits and nudging themselves admirably into their already iconic roles. Even Dan Stevens, stuck with a mess of a CGI job instead of the (to me, at least) obvious route towards physicality, has the eyes of the Beast down - haunted and terrorized, gleaming past the dark. It's no wonder why this product is making the moolah; it's inoffensive (well, besides the sad excuse of a gay character; Disney's attempt at progressive ideals falls flat on its face.) and cute and it nails the check marks presented to the Disney overlords at their annual pre-production sacrificial potluck. I dunno, next time, just stick with the Cocteau or the 1991 film.

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