Bohemian Rhapsody

Bohemian Rhapsody ½


"How many times do we need to teach you this lesson, old man?"

Abominable. Chickenshit exploitation of queerness and public persona, in addition to being formally inept. Every single element of this movie is subpar, lacking in nuance and a solid foundation of existence. All of the reaction shots are gold - everyone is lost: in geography, character motivation, respect of authenticity or even some semblance of cinematic coherence. Nothing is even remotely aware of its functionality. The film is honestly surreal in its dumpster fire hubris. Rami Malek's prosthetic teeth have an agenda of their own, I swear. I would say this is like a modern SNL sketch, but at least they're trying. The fake wigs and cheap costumes are close to a revolting state. Everyone is one take away from either a cigarette break, a tired walk back to their trailer, or off to the local bar. Mike Myers somehow felt compelled to rise from the Hollywood grave for this and not another Shrek installment and it shows. This whole entire circus is hideous, in front and behind the camera. Its editing barely accounts for basic coverage, rhythm, or a sense of continuity. The entire production is falling at the fringes, pleading and begging for the viewer to provide any and all emotional capital, yearning to be genuinely liked and loved in the way Freddie and Queen once were. Can you smell the idiocracy? And once more, the appalling ego in its molded, curdling cry for relevance? Never have I seen such filth laid bare, pre-packaged, sold to the trade papers as a miracle movie even as it offered contractual monetary gain for its weakling pedophillic excuse of a director, and promptly nominated by The Academy, an organization with a stated goal of "advancing the arts and sciences of motion pictures." while "recognizing and upholding excellence." A sickening little bow tied to a corporate love affair. But hey, that Queen band was pretty great, right?

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