Simon

they/he
🏳️‍🌈Taste the rainbow 🌈 
Nicole Kidman is my drama mama

Favorite films

  • Drop Dead Gorgeous
  • Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?
  • I'm Thinking of Ending Things
  • Birth

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All
  • The Humans

    ★★★½

  • Zack Snyder's Justice League

    ★★½

  • Wolf

    ★★

  • The Piano

    ★★★★½

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  • The Power of the Dog

    The Power of the Dog

    ★★★★★

    There’s nothing more entrancing than a simmering, contemptuous and withering takedown of toxic masculinity.

    It is at points both incredibly uncomfortable and unfathomably beautiful but remains blistering from start to finish. Jane Campion’s steady hand and acid tipped dagger whittles away at each of these characters until they are in their truest, most naked form—left bleeding out in the Montana wind. 

    The decadent score by Jonny Greenwood only further accentuates the delicious subtext of it all. While Ari Wegner’s gorgeously expansive…

  • Lars and the Real Girl

    Lars and the Real Girl

    ★★★★

    Lars is a real good boy, I’ll tell you that.

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  • The Humans

    The Humans

    ★★★½

    Family time really does equal dread. Every time. This is observational horror at its finest because we get it. It’s so hyper realized here that I forgot I was watching a film and wasn’t just sitting around a table gabbing with ol’ aunt Michelle (who no one likes).

    Wonderful casting all around. The aural elements are all so keenly realized. I think this is a wonderfully cinematic adaptation of a stage property.

  • Zack Snyder's Justice League

    Zack Snyder's Justice League

    ★★½

    It’s grandiose cannot be denied, but it’s self-important, overindulgent air is positively suffocating. It has the personality of the shrugging emoji. 

    Zack Snyder can concoct beautiful visuals, and he does here, but under his laden touch, any spark of life is quickly crushed. His sensibilities are so artificial that there is no room for the shades of humanity. 

    I find it incredibly ironic that he continues to direct these superhero narratives in which the sole purpose of the heroes is to save humanity from having the life crushed out of it. It’s Zack Snyder, Justice League—that’s who you gotta be on the lookout for!

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  • Red Notice

    Red Notice

    ★★

    Mindless gutter garbage mush liquid jelly juice stew

  • Licorice Pizza

    Licorice Pizza

    ★★★★½

    There’s nothing quite like the warm embrace of Paul Thomas Anderson’s poeticism. 

    Licorice Pizza pulsates with energy and crackles with tension from its opening seconds to the end. There is never a dull moment.

    While everything is dowsed in the nostalgic glow of the simpler times of yesteryear, it’s the acerbic relationship between the two leads that provides the electricity to keep things engaging and incredibly modern. Alana Haim and Cooper Hoffman are impossible to look away from. Their dynamic…