Religulous

I was at Walgreens the other day when I saw something that really infuriated me. I don't think I've ever been that mad before as I am a gentleman, but this incident really set me off. I was standing in line with my usual case of soda when the cute Asian cashier sneezed. Before I could retrieve a handkerchief from my trenchcoat pocket to dab her gentle face with, I heard the most awful, the most wretched, the most disgusting sentence from behind me.

"God bless you!"

God bless you? GOD BLESS YOU? How DARE this ignorant fundie try to convert this precious supple young woman to her lies!

Oh, I shook with rage. As a gentleman, this was just too much for me to handle. I furiously whipped around to stare this... this... CHRISTIAN in the face. An elderly Mexican woman, about 4'11". Typical religious scum. I towered over her, brushing my long black hair over my shoulders (I must have looked so badass from the side). I took a deep breath, and let loose my absolute unbridled anger.

"How DARE you, madam! Surely you know that your puny "god" is but a character in a 3000 year old book! This gentle young Asian woman is far too precious to be subjugated to your abrahamic lies. Have you no brain, madam! Haven't you ever seen Religulous?"

By now a small crowd had gathered around me, all gazing at me in awe as I utterly schooled this fundamentalist christian with my word sword. They all clapped and a few cheers broke out from my audience as I finished. Afterwards, a man came up to me and shook my hand, saying I was much braver than he was and that he was an atheist too. Also the Asian cashier is now my girlfriend and sucks my dick everyday when we watch Rick & Morty. Man I love being an atheist :)